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Tantra Tip of the Day – Unconditional Love and Respect

I am reading Love and Respect, The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs. It is written from a Christian point of view. The author used to be a minister. He developed his ideas during many years of doing marriage counseling. While he does quote from the Bible, I found his tone even and compassionate. He shares a some very important points that resonated with me.

He talks about “The Crazy Cycle” – Without Love, She Reacts -Without Respect, He Reacts. This reminded me of my marriage,which ended after 16 years. I remember my husband demanding my respect and me feeling confused about how to show it. At other times I felt he didn’t deserve my respect. At the same time I often felt unappreciated and unloved when my taking care of the kids, the house and working at my job received criticism or indifference.

Dr. Eggerich explains how women know how to love and want to give and receive love. Men understand respect and want to give and receive respect. So we keep giving what we want to receive and neither party is happy. The beauty is that women have the ability to teach men about love and men have the ability to teach women about respect. Once we understand this we can change our behavior and get out of the “Crazy Cycle.”

He points out that there is an acceptance of the concept of ‘unconditional love” but not one of “unconditional respect.” The concept of “unconditional respect” really resonated with me. Men need to feel respected for who they are no matter what they do, just as women need to be loved for who they are no mater what they act. This was an AH HA! moment for me. While love and respect are similar they each have a slightly different quality. I could see that this is a very important bit of knowledge that I have been missing. I have been giving men love when they wanted respect and they have been giving me respect when I wanted love.

Once you learn how to get out of the “Crazy Cycle” He shares tools for creating what he calls the “Energizing Cycle.” I will be sharing about that soon.

https://www.loveandrespect.com/content/about_love_and_respect.php

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(C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

Tantra Tip of the Day – Refections after the Storm

It has been an interesting couple of weeks for me. Doing my taxes and looking at my finances triggered some fear about the future. I found myself stuck in my head trying to figure it out and suffering arose. As I sat with the fears it became clear I had to let go of the story and look at what was creating the suffering. Being stuck in past and future was causing of my suffering.

It is easy so beat yourself up when you judge your past choices based on today’s knowledge. “If only…this. If only…that.” Then the future feels like a minefield of “What ifs….”

“Leaping into the void” took me out of the story. “Being still” took me out of past and future. “Facing into the wind of my suffering” helped me to open to trusting the Now. After a week of being in the not knowing without resistance, I am in a completely different space. I have relaxed and surrendered. I am at peace. My creative juices are starting to flow again. I am excited about the unfolding of my life.

The future is still a mystery. I no longer “need to know what is going to happen” to feel safe. My faith in Source as an abundant field of love is restored. I relax, breathe and appreciate the moment. I see the beauty and abundance all around me. I am open to receiving miracles in my life. I am ready for the opportunities and challenges the Universe is offering me so I can give my gifts and grow. I have learn to appreciate fear is a doorway to peace.

Try this, the next time you find yourself stuck, afraid or contracted, see if you can let go of the story about it. Let go of past and future. Drop into the Now and ask yourself what is the deeper Truth? Be still and allow yourself to open and discover the gift hidden in whatever appears to be creating your suffering. Open and receive the gift and appreciate the opportunity to grow.

Original Art by Paul Heussenstamm,
www.Mandalas.com

www.TantraForAwakening.com
www.TantraGal.Blogspot.com
(C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.