Erotic touch is a wonderful way to exchange sexual energy with a friend or lover. Depending on your boundaries you may choose to include genitals or you may prefer not to include them. This practice is about exploring pleasure whether or not you decide to make love.
Prepare a warm, quiet, comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed for the next 2 hours. Make sure all phones are turned off. Light some candles and put on some relaxing, romantic music.
Begin by creating the bubble around you and your partner. Do this by defining the bubble with your arms so that surrounds both of you. This helps call you into present moment and create a safe space in which to offer erotic touch. Take a moment to look into each others eyes and honor the god/goddess within. Next, remove things from the bubble that won’t serve you in this process (the past, distractions, anger, worry, etc.) Do this by gesturing as if you are removing an object from your bubble as you state what you are removing. Once you are done removing things you next want to bring things into your bubble that will enhance your connection (love, willingness, presence, trust etc.)
Share Your Desires, Fears and Boundaries
Once the bubble is created, share your desires, fears and boundaries related to giving and receiving an erotic massage. One person speaks while the other person listens without judgment or commentary. Then you switch roles. Here is an example:
“I desire to stay present, open and connect to my erotic energy.”
“My fear is that I may fall asleep and you may feel hurt or disappointed.”
“My boundary is to play with my sexual edge and to trust the process.
“I would like to end at 11 pm.”
Boundaries are not walls, they are bridges and bridges bring people together. Intimacy arises when healthy boundaries are honored. Then you to feel safe, are open and present. Boundaries are dynamic, so check-in periodically to see if your boundaries have changed. If they have changed tell your partner, don’t expect them to read your mind.
Giving an Erotic Massage
Invite the receiver to lay face-down and help them to get comfortable. Ground yourself, see this massage as an opportunity to worship the body of your beloved. Attune yourself to their energy for a couple of minutes by breathing with them.
Begin to awaken their skin by lightly stroking them with feathers, fur or the tips of your fingers. When you are ready cover their body with warm oil and use long, slow strokes. Encourage them to take deep breaths, make sounds and allow the energy in the body to awakened and move. Use different parts of your body, such as your hair, arms and chest. Be creative.
About half-way through the allotted time, invite them to roll over. Massage the front of their body with warm oil using long strokes. Introducing sound can be powerful, for activating the energy body. Try toning with them using sounds like, Ahh, Yumm or Omm.
If you have agreed it is within your boundaries and they seem ready, offer to explore their genitals. Begin on the outside using oil. Go slow at first. Allow them time to release any tension in the area. Listen to their body. Watch how it responds to your touch. Focus on what gives them pleasure. Try different strokes. Be creative. If you are going to do internal massage use a water-based lubricant. How much pleasure are they open to receiving? Explore the possibility of multiple orgasms.
Close by spooning together, connecting at the heart with love, compassion and gratitude. Help them to sit up and end by gazing into each others eyes and bowing. Offer them water or juice to drink and chocolate or fruit to eat. You may want to share what this experience was like for each of you. How was it to give and to receive in this way?