Safe Sex Script Makes Awkward Easy

chat-23713_1280This “script” is a good way to initiate a conversation about your sexual history and to ask someone else to share their sexual history with you.  Review your answers to the statements below. Practice saying them out loud in front of a mirror. Next, share this process with a friend or lover. Ideally, this is done prior to finding yourself in a sexually charged situation.

  1. “The last time I got tested for Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s) was…”
  1. A. “The tests I had done were…”   B. “The results of those tests were…”

A Comprehensive STI Panel consists of: HIV, Syphilis (Rapid Plasma Reagin test), Oral Herpes (HSV-1), Genital Herpes (HSV-2), HPV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Hepatitis B and Hepatitis C. Female testing usually includes a Pap Smear and wet mount to check for other common vaginal infections.

  1. “My sexual orientation is…” (Straight, Gay, Bi, Transgender, Fluid…)
  1. “My relationship status is…” (Single. Dating. Living with a lover. Married. In an open relationship with one or more persons. Fluid bonded with one or more persons.)
  1. “My current relationship agreements that you need to be aware of are…”
  1. “My safer sex practices and/or boundaries are…”  
  1. “I use___________ to prevent unwanted pregnancies.”
  1. Share any risky activities you may have experienced since you were last tested.
  1. Then ask the other person, “How about you?”Listen closely to what they say and how they say it…  Ask questions, if you need clarification.
  1. If, after you both have shared your sexual histories you decide to engage in sex, take time to discuss what sexual activities you are open to at this time and what is off the menu. Share you desires, fears and “healthy boundaries.” Healthy boundaries are what you need to feel safe and stay open; they are dynamic and can expand as well as contract. Intimacy grows when you stay present, are authentic and communicate clearly using “I” statements.

©2015 Crystal Dawn Morris, The Love and Freedom Coach, Tantra Teacher, ISTA Faculty

www.TantraForAwakening.org  928.862.0762  Crystal@tantraforawakening.org

Opening the Inner Flute

The ‘Inner Flute,” is the SkyDancing Tantra™  term, for what you may know as the Central Channel or Sushumna. The purpose of this practice is to access and expand awareness of the life-force energy that moves naturally through the body. This practice supports you in being present, having a relaxed body-mind and an open heart. Another benefit is that it helps to amplify and redistribute sexual energy throughout the whole body. This practice is based on the teachings of SkyDancing Tantra™.

The Three Keys of Tantra

1. Breath

2. Sound

3. Movement

We are born knowing Tantra! The three keys are natural and fundamental to the human condition. The first independent act we take at birth is to breathe. After our first breath, we cry (sound) which expands the lungs. These two important acts are crucial for infants to make the shift from living in their mother’s womb to being able to live and breathe on their own. Next, the infant begins to move its arms and legs and explore the space around him/her.

The following practices can be done either standing with legs hip-width apart and knees slightly bent or lying comfortably on your back with the knees bent and feet flat on the floor. I recommend trying it both ways.

The Sipping Breath and “AHHH” Sound

The Sipping Breath amplifies awareness of the inhalation and allows you to draw the air deep into the abdomen. This type of breathing increases the amount of oxygen circulating in the body, which increases the sense of vitality and pleasure we can feel.

1. Begin by puckering your lips as if you are sipping through a straw. Leave a slight gap between the lips and inhale deeply through the mouth, allowing your abdomen to expand fully.

2. Then, relax the mouth and let the air flow out effortlessly, while making the sound “AHHH.”

The Pelvic Rock

Next, we add the external movement, called the Pelvic Rock.This practice opens the sacrum and helps to activate the sexual energy stored in the pelvic bowl.

1. In this practice, you will be focusing on moving the pelvis, by rotating it forward and backward. As you inhale, arch the lower back as the buttocks will stick out slightly. As you exhale, tuck the tailbone under, flattening the lower back. As the pelvis rotates, the whole spinal column is naturally engaged. This causes the head to fall back slightly (as you arch the back) and fall forward slightly (as you round the back).

2. Once you have this movement established you can add the Sipping Breath. Inhale through your pelvic floor, drawing energy up the Inner Flute (the energetic channel that runs from your pelvic floor to the crown of your head,) as you arch the lower back.

3. Exhale with an “Ahhh,” drawing energy down the Inner Flute and out through your pelvic floor. Go at a rate that feels right for you. You may begin to notice an increased awareness of your sexual/life force energy.

4. As you feel ready, try quickening the pace. Relax and enjoy the sensations that arise.

The PC Pump

Next, we add the internal movement, called the PC Pump or Kegel Exercise. This practice strengthens and tones the pelvic floor/PC (pubococcygeus) muscles. Becoming more aware of how to consciously engage these muscles will allow you to more effectively channel your sexual energy. This practice supports both men and women in having multiple full-body orgasms. It can help men to develop the ability to choose when, and if, they ejaculate.

1. Begin by bringing the focus of attention to the pelvic floor. Squeeze the PC muscles, as if you were stopping the flow of urine. See if you can isolate the various muscles around the urethra and anus.

2. Allow your arms to rest at your sides. As you inhale, contract your PC muscles. At the same time, squeeze your hands into fists as a reminder to do this PC contraction.

3. As you exhale, relax your hands and your PC muscles. Do this several times until it feels natural.

4. Next, add the Sipping Breath on the inhale and “Ahhh” on the exhale.

5. Once that is established, add the Pelvic Rock. On the inhale, sip in the breath as you arch the back and squeeze the PC and fists. On the exhale, make the “Ahhh” sound as you flatten the lower back and relax the PC and hands.

6. Once that is established, continue all the steps and, on the inhale, visualize energy moving up the Inner Flute from the pelvic floor toward the crown. On the exhale, visualize the energy moving back down the Inner Flute to the pelvic floor.

7. As you do this practice, you will become aware of increased energy and vitality circulating throughout the body.

Opening the Inner Flute increases awareness, vitality and, when done regularly, supports you in experiencing increased orgasmic energy- both inside and outside the sexual context!

© Crystal Dawn Morris, 2013, Crystal@Tantraforawakening.org cell 928-862-0762

www.TantraforAwakening.org

 

Tantra Tip of the Day- Lucid Living

I read this great little book a while back, called Lucid Living by Timothy Freke. I checked it out of the library. It takes about 1 hour to read, if you savory each word. What I love about the book is that it is so simple and direct. The Good News! You can awaken today.

Here are the 7 insights he describes to wake up from the dream called life:

1-Life is a mystery.

2-Now is all you know.

3-You are not a person.

4-The world exists in you.

5-All is One.

6-You are a paradox.

7- Being one is loving all.

Today recognize that life is a dream and you are the dreamer. You are both in the dream and dreaming it at the same time. Everyone in the dream is the dreamer too.

Lucid living is whole heatedly engaging with ordinary life as an epic adventure of awakening. Enjoy life, it is a gift.

Tantra Tip of the Day- Heart Wisdom

In the west, we equate intelligence with the brain and the mind, with thinking. Consequently, we spend much of our time stuck in our heads.  Indigenous cultures value the intelligence that comes from the heart as more important than intellect. We could call this the heart-mind. Research is beginning to reveal that the heart has its own intelligence. The brain receives important information from the heart and responds to it. In the past we have considered the heart just a hard working muscle that pumps blood. Actually it is a sensitive organ that gathers and processes vital information in 4 important ways.

Biochemically– The heart produces a hormone called, ANF. That helps to keep the body in balance. ANF regulates blood pressure, edema and the electrolytes and affects the blood vessels, kidneys, adrenal glands and other regulatory parts of the brain. ANF also modulates stress hormones and supports the reproductive and immune system.

Biophysically– As it beats the heart creates a powerful blood pressure wave that travels rapidly throughout the body, much faster than the actual flow of blood. This is what we feel as out pulse.

Energetically– The heart emanates an electromagnetic field that is approximately five thousand times more powerful than the field produced by the brain. This field affects every part of our body and is broadcasted beyond our physical body.

Neurologically– Every time the heart beats, neural activity is sent to the brain. The heart has the ability to monitor hormonal, rate and pressure information, and translates it into neurological impulses, processes it and sends information back to the brain through the Vagus nerve and spinal cord.

The heart has its own intelligence and effects how we think and feel. Our heart is more than a pump it is a center of awareness that sends information to the brain and the body. It is important that we keep an open heart and listen to our heart’s wisdom. When we live from the heart instead of from the mind we are able to be more present, centered and connected to life.

Heart Wisdom Meditation

Lie down in a quiet place and take some deep breaths into your belly. Let everything go outside of this moment. Place your hands over your heart and begin to focus your awareness on the center of your chest, this is your heart center. Notice what arises. Is your heart open, closed or somewhere in between. If your heart feels tight breathe into it and allow it to begin to relax and open. Then begin to generate a feeling of love and compassion. You can do this by thinking of someone or something you love deeply. Allow this feeling of love to fill your heart center and gradually spread throughout your entire body. Once you are aware of being full of love, allow love to heal and harmonize your body, mind, and emotions. When you feel ready, send this love out to others- those you love, the Earth, or to someone in need. End by offering gratitude for your life and for the opportunity to connect with your heart. Please share this practice with a friend.

Tantra Tip of the Day- Allow Your Inner Child to Play

These days life can get very busy. When we take ourselves too seriously life often becomes burdensome.

As kids we knew how to be in the moment and have fun. We were open, curious, playful and creative. Life was playing, laughing and having fun.

Today invite your inner child to come out and play! Stop being an adult for a few minutes, act silly, be spontaneous, discover a new way to play. Take a risk and make yourself or someone else laugh. Enjoy the freedom of this moment!

Tantra Tip of the Day – Remove the Barriers to Love

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~ Rumi

My friend Zannie sent me this comment and below is my response. Crystal, great quote from a master of love. How does this relate to your personal experiences with seeking love/removing barriers to the same? I’d love to know…! xo, Zannie

Zannie,
My experience is that everyday is an opportunity to see where I close. When I am aware, I allow myself to open in that moment, to love. The past nine years have been a lesson in letting go of what I think love is supposed to look and feel like. I have come closer and closer to recognizing I am love in form and so is everything and everyone around me. This is easiest with my grandchildren, family and friends. It is more challenging with people who are creating pain and suffering for others, especially, people in power who choose war over peace and pollution over sustainability.

What is your experience?

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(C) Copyright 2010, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

Tantra Tip of the Day- Enhance Intimacy with Healing Touch

Tantra teaches that touch can be very powerful when used with the intent to heal and awaken another person. With an open mind and some practice anyone can learn how to give and receive Tantric healing touch. Learning how to give and receive touch with presence offers many benefits.

1) The body relaxes open and releases blocked energy.
2) It increases awareness and supports whole-body healing.
3) It awakens the senses, allowing ecstatic energy expand and flow.
4) It creates a conscious connection between the giver and the receiver.

Set aside some time to share healing touch with a friend or lover. Shut off the phones and make sure you won’t be disturbed for at least an hour or two. This kind of touch can be done clothed, partially clothed or nude, depending on your level of comfort. Create a comfortable place to practice. The area needs to be warm, clutter free, with soft lighting and relaxing music. You can work on a massage table, the floor or a bed.

Do a Heart Salutation. In Tantra we use the Sanskrit word, Namaste’ which means I honor the Divine in you, as a reflection of the Divine within me. Begin this practice by sitting across from your partner and looking into their eyes. Maintain eye contact throughout the process. Next, extend your arms towards the earth, palms together. Inhale and keeping your hands in prayer position, bring them to your heart. Exhale, as you bow forward and acknowledge the Divine in each other by saying, “Namaste.” Inhale, as you straighten back up. Finally, exhale as you allow your hands return to the starting position, pointed towards the earth.

Now, take a few minutes each to share your desires, fears and boundaries. A boundary is what you need to feel safe and stay open. Agree on the amount of time you are committed to sharing this experience. If you are both going to give and receive then divide the time equally. Decide who will give and who will receive first.

The receiver then lies down with the intention of surrendering into each moment and letting go. The giver holds the intention of being a conduit for healing, a “hollow bone” for the Divine to move through. Both of you let go of anything outside this very moment.

The giver begins by connecting to the energy body of the receiver. Very slowly, with your hands 6-10 inches above them scan their entire body. See what you notice. Encourage the receiver to breathe deeply into their belly and make sounds as they exhale. Let your breath begin to synchronize with theirs. As you scan the body notice areas that feel tight, cold, or lack energy. Also notice areas that may feel open, hot or flowing. Gently stroke the energy body until it begins to feel smooth and integrated.

When it feels right, slowly place your hands on their body and take some time “to be” with the body before you begin “doing” anything to it. Slowly, intuitively begin to touch them. Allow the session to emerge organically in the moment, not with your mind making a plan or having a goal. Listen to their feedback and follow their requests with your complete attention. At times you may ask for guidance. Where do they want to be touched? How do they want to be touched? If they don’t want to speak ask them to give you feedback only if something does not feel good.

It is important for the receiver to offer positive feedback often. By saying yes or making sounds, such as, ahhhh or hummm. This confirms you like what is unfolding. When giving verbal feedback use the sandwich technique. 1) Give an appreciation.2) Ask for the change. 3) Say thank you. Here is an example. “It feels so good to have my feet caressed. It would feel even better if you used a little more pressure. Thank you let feels great!

This is an opportunity to practice the art of devotion. Touch this person as if they are a God or Goddess. Really allow Love to flow out of your heart, through your hands and into them. Allow this practice to become a meditation, a melting into the One. End by spooning together. Take some time to share your experiences and then switch roles if that was the agreement.

Namaste’

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(C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

Tantra Tip of the Day- Be at Peace

I saw this video on Facebook and it communicates the peace that arises when the thoughts are just clouds in the sky and the heart is open and radiating love. Living each moment in the Now and recognizing Self as Divine. It is called the Song of Solomon

The Tantra Tip of the Day- 4 Secrets to Joyful Living

When life gets stressful it is easy to contract and focus on what’s not working. You begin to feel disconnected from Source and wonder why life isn’t going your way. It is easy to begin feeling sorry for yourself. Here are 4 secrets to help you reconnect to joyful living.

1. Let go of negative thinking. Stop judging yourself. Replace negative self-talk with words of and appreciation and encouragement. Write a love letter to yourself; put it in a stamped, self-addressed envelope. Wait a few weeks and then drop it in the mail. When it arrives drink in the words of love.

2. Appreciate your body and all that it does for you. Your body is your vehicle for this life. Treat it well. Take a relaxing bath and touch every part of your body and bless it. Ask your body what it needs to feel loved. Listen to your body’s wisdom.

3. Take time daily to expand your awareness. Recognize that you are much more than your body or your thoughts. You are Divine in form. One way I like to do this is by using the senses, take 5 minutes and focus on one of the senses- sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, let your awareness of it expand. Look at the world with curiosity as if you just landed on this planet for the first time. Listen to the sounds of the city or of nature. Smell the scent of rain, food or even garbage. Touch the surface of your desk, chair, or a tree as if it is your lover’s body- with awe and reverence. Chew your food slowly savoring each bite. Let your senses awaken your connection to the world around you. Recognize that you are part of this aliveness that is going on around you.

4. Be generous. Offer gratitude for all you have. Recognize that there are others less fortunate than you and send them a prayer or decide to help them in a way that feels right to you. Helping others is a great way to reconnect to your heart.

When you let go of negative thinking, love your body, expand your awareness, and generously give to others you naturally begin to feel more open, loving and connected. Life becomes a joy to live.

(C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

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Tantra Tip of the Day- Simply Stop Looking