Safe Sex Script Makes Awkward Easy

chat-23713_1280This “script” is a good way to initiate a conversation about your sexual history and to ask someone else to share their sexual history with you.  Review your answers to the statements below. Practice saying them out loud in front of a mirror. Next, share this process with a friend or lover. Ideally, this is done prior to finding yourself in a sexually charged situation.

  1. “The last time I got tested for Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s) was…”
  1. A. “The tests I had done were…”   B. “The results of those tests were…”

A Comprehensive STI Panel consists of: HIV, Syphilis (Rapid Plasma Reagin test), Oral Herpes (HSV-1), Genital Herpes (HSV-2), HPV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Hepatitis B and Hepatitis C. Female testing usually includes a Pap Smear and wet mount to check for other common vaginal infections.

  1. “My sexual orientation is…” (Straight, Gay, Bi, Transgender, Fluid…)
  1. “My relationship status is…” (Single. Dating. Living with a lover. Married. In an open relationship with one or more persons. Fluid bonded with one or more persons.)
  1. “My current relationship agreements that you need to be aware of are…”
  1. “My safer sex practices and/or boundaries are…”  
  1. “I use___________ to prevent unwanted pregnancies.”
  1. Share any risky activities you may have experienced since you were last tested.
  1. Then ask the other person, “How about you?”Listen closely to what they say and how they say it…  Ask questions, if you need clarification.
  1. If, after you both have shared your sexual histories you decide to engage in sex, take time to discuss what sexual activities you are open to at this time and what is off the menu. Share you desires, fears and “healthy boundaries.” Healthy boundaries are what you need to feel safe and stay open; they are dynamic and can expand as well as contract. Intimacy grows when you stay present, are authentic and communicate clearly using “I” statements.

©2015 Crystal Dawn Morris, The Love and Freedom Coach, Tantra Teacher, ISTA Faculty  928.862.0762

Tantra 4 Awakening Workshop in Montreal Canada

Monde Ose welcomes the return of  Crystal Dawn Morris, Certified Sky Dancing Tantra Teacher to Montreal, Canada. She will be offering her  Awakening the Ecstatic Body: The Full Body Orgasm and Beyond Workshop on
February 22-24, 2013.

  • Open Your Inner Bliss Channel
  • Learn 3 Keys to the Ecstatic Response
  • Become a Multi-Orgasmic Being
  • Experience a Juicy Tantric Ritual
  • Expand Your Capacity for Intimacy and  Pleasure

This experiential weekend workshop will awaken bliss in every cell of your being. You will experience a full body orgasm, outside a sexual context. You will leave this workshop with the ability to tap into the universal field of love. You will learn tools for connecting intimately with yourself and others. This event is open to individuals and couples.There is no nudity in this class.
Important Note: You do not have to have experienced Level 1 to participate in Level 2. The course is designed to welcome beginners as well as experienced students of Tantra.

Reserve your space now! Follow this link:

For more information contact Crystal Dawn or Frank Mondeose.

The Safe Sex Talk and Sharing Your Sexual History

Sexual attraction is a fact of life. We meet that special someone and Bang! A powerful connection is made that leads an irresistible desire to have sex. It may be more common when you are young, single and feeling a bit impulsive, but it can happen to anyone, at any age.  We call it “sexual chemistry.” However, mixing chemicals can be dangerous if you lack information about how they will react when mixed together. Having unprotected sex with someone, without knowing their sexual history and is just as risky as mixing two unknown chemicals together. Sometimes the result maybe life threatening, sometimes a non-event and on rare occasions an amazing discovery is made.

Having the Safe Sex Talk

Sex is a healthy part of life and a powerful way to share love and intimacy. It is important to learn how to be clear and honest about your sexual history before engaging in sex. Unprotected sex can lead to infection, pregnancy, infertility, and life-threatening diseases.

  1. Know your own sexual history. Get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STI’s) regularly.
  2. Practice sharing your sexual history with a friend so you are comfortable talking about it.
  3. Get educated about STI’s- know their prevalence, risks, and treatments.
  4. Commit to discussing safer sex before engaging in any exchange of body fluids.
  5. Have the discussion in a neutral atmosphere, not as you are about to climb in bed together.
  6. Be prepared, carry condoms with you and know how to use them. Practice before hand.
  7. Know your bottom line. What risks are you NOT willing to take? Be ready to say NO!
  8. Pregnancy is also a risk of unprotected intercourse. Use birth control if you don’t want a baby.
  9. If you have taken risks in the past, don’t be afraid to get tested and treated.
  10. Love yourself enough to set healthy boundaries and honor them.

How to Begin

When you meet someone and feel that sexual chemistry is there be aware that you need to have the safer sex talk before you find yourself in a sexually charged situation. When the time feels right begin by acknowledging the attraction you feel. “Ever since we met I have been aware that I am very attracted to you sexually.” Find out if the feeling is mutual. There is no need to share your history with someone who has no desire to be sexual with you. If they are also interested in becoming sexually involved then tell them you would like to set aside a time to have a discussion about safer sex and to share your sexual histories with each other.

Getting Tested

Depending on how sexually active you have been, the last time you were tested and any risky behaviors you may have had since then, you may choose to go and get an STI exam and HIV test before you have the safer sex talk. This way you will have current information to share either before or shortly after your discussion. The testing can be done with your doctor’s office, at a public health center, or family planning clinic. STI’s tests may include: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea (the Clap), Syphilis, Candida (yeast infection), Hepatitis B, Herpes simplex 1 and 2, HIV, HPV (genital warts and cervical dysplasia), Crabs, and Trichomonis (trich). While you are there ask any questions you have and pick up information about birth control, STI’s and HIV.

Having the Talk

Meet in a private place when you won’t be disturbed. Make sure you have a couple of hours set aside so that you don’t have to stop in the middle. Turn off your cell phones. Bring your test results with you if you have them. One powerful way to begin is by each sharing your intention for this communication, any fears or concerns you have about this talk and any boundaries you need to express. A boundary is what you need to feel safe and stay open, it is not a wall, it is a bridge to help you stay present. A healthy boundary for this communication might be to agree that whatever is shared will remain confidential. Another type of boundary is, “I need to end by 10 pm.”

Then agree who will go first. Only one person should speak at a time. The other person listens quietly and only interrupts if they need to clarify a specific detail. When the first person is complete then switch roles. Topics to cover may include:

  • History of STI’s. Were they successfully treated? Last date tested.
  • HIV risks- IV drug use, unprotected anal sex, homosexual encounters, and unprotected sex with prostitutes. The results of your last HIV test results. Any risks since then?
  • History of risky behavior- unprotected sex or partners who had unprotected sex. IV drug use or partners who used IV drugs. Use of drugs and alcohol during or before sexual activity.
  • The number of sexual partners you have had. The risk of STI’s and HIV increases if you have unprotected sex with multiple partners.
  • History of rape, blood transfusions or other risks.
  • Agreeing to keep each other’s sexual history and test results confidential.

Sexual expression is important part of a healthy life-style and is wonderful way to share love and intimacy. This talk is the beginning of your relating on an intimate level with this person. Honesty is a great way to build respect and trust. Know that you are responsible for the choices you make. Only you can protect yourself. Don’t rely on someone else to protect you. Sex involves risk, as does all of life.  By practicing safer sex you are limiting the risks you are taking. You are making conscious choices and accepting the possible risks involved. The only 100% guarantee for avoiding the risk of STI’s and pregnancy is abstaining from sexual contact. I hope that this article supports you in having a healthy and enjoyable sex-life.

Copyright 2012 Crystal Dawn Morris

If you’d like to learn more about Conscious Sexuality and Tantra or want to attend Crystal’s events, please sign-up for her free monthly newsletter at:

Crystal Dawn Morris is a Certified Sky Dancing Tantra Teacher and the founder of Tantra for Awakening. She is committed to creating a more conscious and compassionate world. She offers Tantra workshops, Intimacy Coaching and Couples Retreats. She teaches a Tantra Teacher Certification program called The Art and Business of Teaching Tantra. She lives in Sedona, AZ where she practices yoga, writes and enjoys life. She loves to travel and is open to teaching and coaching in your community.

SkyDancing Tantra in Asheville, NC

Sex, Intimacy and Consciousness:

An Evening of SkyDancing

February 22, 7-9:30 pm

Asheville Tantra School

2 Westwood Place,

West Asheville, NC 28806

• Practice the 3 keys of SkyDancing Tantra

• Find out how sex and consciousness are related

• Learn how healthy boundaries increase intimacy

• Consciously connect and disconnect your sexual energy

Join Crystal Dawn Morris, Certified SkyDancing Tantra Teacher and founder of Tantra for Awakening in Sedona, AZ, for an evening of exploration and transformation using a variety of SkyDancing Tantra practices. Learn how SkyDancing Tantra can help you to feel more love, joy and connection in your relationships. Please wear comfortable clothes and bring a water bottle. Suggested donation is $10-20.

7 Benefits of Erotic Massage

Erotic massage is a wonderful way to relax, connect and explore pleasure with a lover or intimate friend. On the path of Tantra, we enjoy coming together to honor and celebrate the body as a temple of delight. This experience will allow you to explore erotic energy in new ways and is also a wonderful prelude to lovemaking.

7  Benefits of Erotic Massage are:

1) It awakens the senses and activates whole-body healing.

2) It allows you to explore pleasure in new and creative ways.

3) It uses eye contact, connected breathing and touch to enhance intimacy.

4) It creates conscious connection between the giver and the receiver.

5) It uses breath, sound and movement to awaken the full-body orgasm.

6) It melts away the illusion of separation and allows Oneness to emerge.

7) It is a wonderful prelude to orgasmic sex.


Prepare a warm, quiet, comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed for the next 2 hours. Make sure all phones are turned off. Light some candles and put on some relaxing, romantic music.

The Heart Salutation

Begin with the Heart Salutation. It is an ancient tantric practice for acknowledging the Divine in each other as you enter into sacred time. Sit across from your partner and look into their eyes. Maintain eye contact throughout the rest of the process. Extend your arms towards the earth, palms together. Inhale and, keeping them together, bring your hands to your heart. Exhale, as you bow forward and acknowledge the Divine in each other. Inhale, as you straighten back up. Finally, exhale as you allow your hands to return to the starting position, pointed towards the earth.

The Bubble

The Bubble calls you into present moment awareness and creates a safe space in which to offer an erotic massage. Make a bubble around you and your partner with your arms so that it surrounds both of you. Remove things from the bubble that won’t serve this process (the past, distractions, anger, worry, etc.) Do this with a gesture, as if physically removing an object, while stating out-loud what you are removing. Next, bring things into your bubble that will enhance your connection (Love, willingness, Presence, trust etc.) Once again, use gestures and spoken words. Here is two examples:

“I release the past.”

” I call in passion.”

Share Your Desires, Fears and Boundaries

Once the bubble is created, share your desires, fears and boundaries related to giving and/or receiving an erotic massage. One person speaks while the other person listens, without judgment or commentary. Then, switch roles. Here is an example:

“My desire is to stay connect to erotic energy.”

“My fear is that I may fall asleep and you may feel hurt or disappointed.”

“My boundary is finish this practice by at 11 pm.”

Healthy Boundaries

People often think of boundaries as walls. Healthy boundaries are actually bridges that bring people together. Intimacy arises when healthy boundaries are honored. You feel safe, are open and present. Boundaries can change, so check-in periodically to see how you are feeling. If your boundary has changed, tell your partner. Please, don’t expect them to read your mind.

Giving an Erotic Massage

Decide who will give and who will receive. Invite the receiver to lay face-down on a massage table, bed or blanket on the floor. Make sure they are warm and comfortable. The giver then grounds him or herself and gently lays their hands on the receiver. Recognize this is a unique opportunity to honor and serve your beloved. Attune yourself to the receiver. One way to attune is by breathing with them for a few minutes.

Begin to awaken their skin by lightly stroking it with feathers, fur or the tips of your fingers. When you are ready, cover their body with warm oil. Use long, slow massage strokes. You are massaging more than the surface of their body. You are connecting to them on multiple levels. Encourage them to take deep breaths, make sounds and move their body. This allows the energy in the body to awaken, move and release. Use different parts of your body- your hair, arms and chest, to massage your partner. Be playful, curious and creative.

About half-way through the allotted time, invite the receiver to roll over. Massage the front of their body with warm oil, again using long strokes. Introduce sound in a new way by toning on their body, using sounds like, Ahh, Yumm or Omm. This can be a powerful tool for activating your partners energy-body.

When they are ready offer to explore their genitals. In SkyDancing Tantra we call the vagina, “Yoni,” which means “Cosmic Matrix” and the penis, “Vajra,” which means “Thunderbolt.” Begin on the outside of the genitals with oil. At first, be gentle and go slow. Allow them time to release any tension in the area. Listen to their body. Watch them respond and become aroused. Focus on what gives them pleasure. Try different strokes. Again, be creative. If you are going to do internal massage, use a water-based lubricant. How much pleasure can they allow? Are they open to exploring the possibility of multiple orgasms?

Close by spooning together and connecting your heart centers with love, compassion and gratitude. Help them to sit up and end with a Heart Salutation. Offer them water or juice to drink and a chocolate or piece of fruit to eat. You may want to share what this experience was like for you. How was it to give and/or receive in this way?


Awakening the Full Body "O"

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Human beings are naturally ecstatic, it is only through conditioning that we loose our ability the feel  Bliss daily. Tantra is a path that recognizes that sexual energy can open up the field of ecstasy and expand Awareness. It teaches people how to move their sexual energy, which is life force energy, from their genitals, up to the top of their head, and everywhere in between. This allows the entire physical and energetic body to become full of Bliss. When the sexual energy reaches the crown it can expand a person’s Awareness of the mystical realms, allowing them to recognize they are Consciousness in human form.

A full body orgasm is the experience of feeling your whole body vibrating with orgasmic energy. This can be done outside of a sexual context as well as while making love. Anyone can learn how to have a full body orgasm by following the steps below.

7  Steps for Opening the Inner Flute:

1) Stand with your knees hip width apart and slightly bent.

2) Breathe through your mouth and deep into the belly, allowing it to expand begin activating your sexual energy.

3) Once you have master the belly breath you can increase the intensity by inhaling as if you are sipping through straw. Exhale with an open mouth and release a deep sound from the belly. Sound also intensifies the expansion of energy.

4) Now, allow your pelvis to begin rocking. Keeping the knees bent, let your pelvis rotate freely. As you inhale rock the hips back, arching the small of the back. As you exhale, tuck the tail bone under, flattening the small of the back. Breath, sound and movement are the 3 Keys of Sky Dancing Tantra.

5) Next, add the PC pump. As you inhale squeeze the pelvic floor muscles pulling them upwards and as you exhale let them relax back down. It feels a bit like you are trying to stop and start a stream of urine. These are sometimes called Kegel exercises.

6) Put all the steps together. As you inhale imagine you are breathing the energy up from your root to your heart. Practice this until you feel the energy pulsing from your root to your heart. You can play with speeding up and slowing down your respiratory rate.

7) Once you have mastered connecting root and heart move the energy up to the crown. Practice until you can feel the energy flowing from your root to your crown. See yourself as a rainbow bridge of light connecting Earth and Sky. This is a wonderful way to get your energy flowing.

Once the’ Inner Flute” is open you are ready to feel erotic energy  throughout your physical and energetic bodies. This allows you to experience the  Full Body Orgasm both sexually and outside a sexual context.

3 Steps to the Ecstatic Response Process:

1) The “Streaming Reflex” helps you recognize that your body is made of ecstatic energy which you can stimulate and expand whenever you want to. You learn to experience orgasmic energy outside of a sexual context and discover that you can awaken your own pleasure body with out genital contact. The practice-You begin by standing with your feet hip width apart and knees bent. Allow your thighs to begin to vibrate side to side. Allow the vibration the spread up and down the body until your whole body is vibrating. It is helpful to do this with music, I recommend Osho’s Kundalini Meditation CD. It is also helpful to have

2) The “Ecstatic Response” is the process of being relaxed in high states of arousal. You learn to become a bigger container for ecstatic energy and to relax fully letting the energy naturally expand. The effect is one of sexual excitement and deep peace. When you master the ecstatic response you move beyond the genital orgasm and discover the full body orgasm. The practice- After several minutes of your whole body streaming lay down on the floor with your knees bent and your feet close together. Let your knees gently fall apart like a butterflies wings opening. Allow your body to relax fully and continue to open and close your knees. This process allows the ecstatic energy to spread throughout the body. This is best done listening to gentle, relaxing music.

3) Once you mastered Opening the Inner Flute and the Full Body Orgasm outside a sexual context you can introduce these practices into your love making and experience them within a sexual context. Sex becomes an alchemical experience that transforms the physical body into the Bliss Body.

Copyright 2010 Crystal Dawn Morris

Tantra and Ultimate Unification

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Ultimate Unification -Article by Ma Ananda Sarita PhD, published in Kindred Spirit, Issue 93, July/Aug 2008. Sarita is author of two books, Divine Sexuality and Tantric Love, translated into many languages throughout the world.

In her work as a teacher of Tantra, Mahasatvaa Ma Ananda Sarita PhD is often asked, ‘What is Tantra?’ The mass media and subsequently the collective mind imagines this life approach to be all about six-hour sex, better orgasms, orgies, and more. In fact, it is a refined path to enlightenment which uses all facets of the human being as springboards into the vast sea of consciousness.

Perhaps the Western mind has become fixated on the sexual dimension of Tantra simply because we have undergone 2,000 years of sexual repression. Certain influential individuals created a spiritual world view which repressed women and consequently diminished our potential of having direct access to the divine through sexual ecstasy.

Tertullian, one of the founding fathers of orthodox Christianity, said: ‘Women are the gate by which the demon enters.’ Tantra is not fixated on sex but simply accepts and honours it as our primordial energy.

My beloved Master Osho wrote a book called From Sex to Superconsciousness. That title sums up in a nutshell the Tantra approach to life. Tantra methods offer a milieu in which an alchemical process is instigated through the union of opposite polarities. When the alchemy of union reaches a certain exquisite refinement, there is a sudden awakening into oneness with the whole. The fragrance of such experience is innocence and playfulness.

Abundance of Unity

Practitioners of the Tantric arts have been described as walking on air, because they tread so lightly and joyously through life, with hearts, minds and consciousness wide open to all that is. In Tantra, there is true choice-less awareness. Sex and spirit are considered as one. Light and dark are equally revered. Life and death are both fuel for Samadhi.

The path of love and devotion (primarily a feminine approach) and the path of witnessing and meditation (primarily a male approach) are embraced equally, with sensitive intelligence. Volumes have been written on Tantra, but it can truly be understood only by those who are willing to dive into the practice of Tantra techniques.

Each Tantra meditation method opens a door into enlightened consciousness, using many different facets of human experience. The methods are traditionally passed on as a living transmission from teacher to student. The teacher creates a potent atmosphere for a student to be able to extract the nectar from a meditation technique through the deeply lived experience of it.

Divine Spark

It is said in Tantra scriptures that each cell of the body contains the whole universe; the microcosm is the macrocosm. If we penetrate even deeper into this analogy, we can observe that our whole phenomenal world is created through opposite polarities in a constant dance together. As a song from the radio of my childhood says, ‘let me tell you bout the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees, and the stars up above, and a thing called love.’ Seduction, sex and love as well as cognitive manifestations are all ‘God in action’.

By studying our own bodies and reproductive actions as the microcosm, we may surmise that the ‘big bang’ was not so much a ‘bang’ as a great orgasm! (Perhaps scientists are aware of this but just don’t have the courage to say it). In order to play with the alchemical union of opposites, it is helpful to become fully empowered in our opposite polarities. When a polarity is fully charged in its unique qualities, there is magnetic attraction towards its opposite. Women need to understand and resonate in the polarity of the feminine, and men need to understand and resonate in the polarity of the masculine. When these two elements meet, it’s electric!

Lingam and Yoni: Sacred Symbols of Cosmic Unity

In Shiva temples throughout India, which is the place where Tantra developed many thousands of years ago, we find beautifully sculpted images of the male phallus sitting within the female vagina. The male phallus is called lingam, meaning ‘wand of light’ and the female genitalia is referred to as yoni, meaning, ‘sacred place’.

The ancient sages from pre-Aryan history discovered a great secret: God is to be found in the harmonious union of our male and female genitals. ‘Universal energy, the substance of the world, is represented by the Yoni which grasps the Lingam. It is only when the phallus, the giver of semen, is surrounded by the yoni that God can manifest and the universe appear.’ (from Karpatri, a Sanskrit scripture, translated by Alain Danielou)

Some people may find this shocking, since as a culture we still carry a hangover from Catholic and Victorian anti-sexual morality in our mental and physical conditioning. But just imagine for a moment a whole society which envisions sex as bringing us into oneness with God. Such a society would naturally regard all of life as sacred. Rape of people or the environment would be impossible for such people.

Restoring Balance

Now, let us consider the immense phallic symbols which are present in many cities of developed countries, large pillars, proclaiming the masculine as the dominant force throughout the world. These edifices are sadly lacking a feminine yoni of equal proportions to sit within.

Even if we just change this one highly visible outward symbol of imbalance, transforming it into a lingam within a yoni rather than a large phallus standing alone, our society will change dramatically. Symbols, particularly sculpted ones, contain potent messages which affect our subconscious orientation.

The masculine principle is charged with testosterone, a hormone which gives rise to the urge for action, adventure, aggression, creativity, competition, hierarchy, clear structures, protection of the feminine and goal-oriented sexuality.

If the male attributes are not balanced with the female progesterone dominant qualities of love, devotion, nurturing, nesting and compassion, then we will have a world of testosterone running amok, which is the case.

To bring these two polarities together we need to find intelligent ways of accepting and honoring both. Let us start by understanding something very basic – how woman’s and man’s temperaments and sexuality function.

Feminine abundance

The nature of woman is yin, receptive, cool, resting, flowing, yielding, soft, dark, and mysterious. She is in essence the womb of the universe, from which all emerges and to which everything returns. She is loving, compassionate, nurturing. She is tremendously powerful in the same way a river or an ocean is powerful. Water yields, and yet it can wear away rock. She is juicy, like a ripe fruit.

Her sexuality is triggered through love and sensual play which she may like to continue for hours. In general, a woman takes 20 minutes to reach full sexual arousal. Once aroused, she can have multiple and full body orgasms. After orgasm, she remains at peak arousal for another 20 minutes. When she is satiated, her love and devotion knows no boundaries.

Many women are not aware of their beautiful, powerful qualities and try to emulate the masculine, thinking this will fulfill them. However, it only makes them confused and resentful.

The places in a woman’s body which can best serve her in getting in touch with feminine power are: belly (second chakra) representing emotional fluidity, sensuality, birth and death; breasts, (fourth chakra) representing love, nurturing, compassion; and forehead (sixth chakra) representing clairvoyance and intuition.

In sexual union, in meditation and in daily life, if the woman can be touched in these areas, or can focus on these areas, her capacity for orgasm, for abundance and for feeling at home within herself will be greatly enhanced.

Male reverence

The nature of man is yang, hot, active, hard, strong, outgoing and target oriented. He is in essence the ‘protector’ of the feminine. He is so powerful that in one ejaculation he offers enough sperm to populate half the planet! When he gives of his essence he gives his very life and is therefore also quite vulnerable.

Balancing power and vulnerability is the lesson each man needs to learn. In biological terms, which also affects his psyche, his role is to plant the seed (not a genetically modified one!) and to then protect the delicate seedling carried within the vessel of the woman till it reaches maturity.

His sexuality is triggered through visual and cognitive stimulation which creates an immediate response in his sex centre. A man can arrive to full arousal in a matter of three minutes (though some men have discovered how to prolong their pleasure for hours). Once he is at peak arousal and ejaculates, he experiences a great loss of vital energy and needs to rest and recuperate before further arousal.

When a man feels truly honoured and received by his beloved, he connects with his deep instinctual desire to revere and protect her as well as to reveal his vulnerability and tenderness with her.

His full potential is realized when he is able to become the custodian and protector not only of his woman but of the family, the community and ultimately, our mother earth. Many men are not aware of how to contact and live their full vibrant potential. Men of our days tend to vacillate between being over-dominant and emotionally cut off , or being timid and unsure of their role.

The Key of Being a Real Man

Chintan Norbert Bila, my co-teacher in Tantra, says, “The patriarchal foundation of our society for the last few thousand years has given rise to male supremacy. However, with the recent rise in women’s liberation man is now in mutation, and even in the process of losing his sense of identity.

Men get into stress, trying to juggle power and vulnerability. His contradictory nature has a tendency to nurture frustration and destructiveness. He reaches a point of no return, where he needs a catharsis as an outlet for the steam of his internal pressure cooker.

This masculine tendency is what gives rise to war, power politics, highly competitive forms of business, or competitive sports. Luckily, nature offers a rainbow bridge between his contradictory qualities.

The bridge of transformation for men is a sense of humour and playfulness, leading to detachment and relaxation. These qualities engulf and transcend the social and rational games of society.

In the Indian tradition, this playful approach to life is called Leela, the ‘divine play’ or ‘God’s play’. Testosterone needs to be expressed, but it can have other outlets besides conflictual competition. If a man orientates himself around the worldview of a society based on conqueror and conquered then he will live within the law of the jungle, the struggle for the survival of the fittest in a competitive environment.

If he integrates a vision of himself and the world which is larger and more fluid, the possibility for expression becomes multidimensional. He can be a clown, a lover, a practitioner of martial arts, an artist, a child, a king, and a sage all at once. The multifaceted aspects of his nature can come together in a spiral dance, making him vast enough to contain all the contradictions of life.

In Tantra, women function as the initiatress of the man. He surrenders himself before the power and grace of the maternal feminine. He lets go of his ego which was built around a jungle based mentality. This permits him to be reborn with the joyful innocence of his inner child intact.

He discovers renewal of life with a strength which bubbles up naturally, without effort. This time, he is deeper and more authentic. His heart shines forth, his consciousness is vaster, his eyes are open to both seen and unseen worlds, and his creative masculine role is radiantly apparent.”

Secrets for Masculine Fulfilment

The places in a man’s body which can best serve him to get in touch with his fulfilment in sexuality, creativity and spirituality are: the sex centre (first chakra) representing survival, sexuality, animal instinct; the solar plexus (third chakra) representing the meeting of all contradictions and the expression of one’s individual soul calling; and the throat (fifth chakra) representing creative expression, becoming the master of your own destiny.

If a man can be touched and honoured in these areas, can accept his animal nature and apply the creativity of the fifth chakra to it, and can unlock the koan of the meeting of power and vulnerability posed by the third chakra, he is well on his way to becoming a god.

Yin and Yang Sex

The male and female chakra systems fit together like lock and key. The chakras where the male energy is empowered, are where the woman is receptive, and the chakras where the woman is empowered, the man is receptive. We can become adept at making love through the whole chakra system, realizing a full spectrum of ecstatic potential.

In such union, we are catapulted into a space beyond duality, expressed through the crown chakra. When we apply the refined intelligence of Tantra methods to opposite polarities in life, learning to surf the waves of yin and yang inherent in our bodies and all of nature, we are gifted with illimitable bliss. A woman who is flowing in her yin power will become an initiatress on the Tantra path.

A man who is comfortable in his yang energy will become a master lover who carries the power of god in his magic ‘wand of light’. Each one regenerates the other in an infinite circle of conscious love. A simple secret for ultimate sexual fulfi lment is to give equal space to yin and yang energies during love union.

The Mud and the Lotus

In Tantra, there is a potent symbolism which is used to illustrate the spiritual path. A beautiful lotus floats on the surface of the water.

Its roots arise from the rich mud at the bottom of the lake. The lotus represents spirit and the mud represents sexuality. It is said, ‘no mud, no lotus’. By accepting these polarities and really exploring them (not just thinking about it!), we are transformed.

In my Tantra groups, I have found that the deeper we can go into conscious and loving exploration of our instinctual sexuality, the higher we fly into spiritual awakening. And the more we can enhance the polarities of male and female aspects, the deeper the ecstasy which arises from such a union.

Men and women learn how to truly honour, accept, love and balance each other. By embracing and exploring the ‘mud’ of our beings, we discover the lotus of love, and in the meeting of the opposite polarities of male and female, sex and spirit, we discover innocence. We come home.

The long pilgrimage away from ourselves towards an unknown god ceases, and we find a new dawn within ourselves. We are plugged into the infinity loop of the union of opposites. In Sanskrit, this is called Ardhanareshvara, the representation of God who is half male, half female.

Reprinted from the Osho World Online Newsletter May 2011

5 Keys to Eye Gazing for Soulful Sex

A Timeless Practice

The eyes are the “windows to the soul.” When we gaze deeply into the eyes of another person, we can see beyond their physical body and personality into their essence. The practice of eye gazing is an ancient practice found in both Hindu and Buddhist Tantra as well as in the Sufi tradition. This practice is considered to be a path to enlightenment. It is a wonderful way to connect at the soul level. It can to done with your beloved before and during sex.

Eye gazing is something you have probably done naturally, while gazing into the eyes of a newborn baby or when you first fell in love. Even when you are in a conversation and maintain eye contact, you are doing a less focused form of eye gazing. Eye gazing can be done as a one-on-one meditation with a friend or beloved. It can also be done solo by gazing into a mirror. You can integrate it into daily life by engaging people briefly, in passing, with the intent that when you meet their eyes you will see beyond their form, into their essence. Some of the benefits of this practice include: becoming more present, opening your heart and expanding your awareness of the Divine in all beings.

1) The Heart Salutation

You begin this practice by acknowledging the Divine in each other with a Heart Salutation. Sit across from your partner and look into their eyes. Maintaining eye contact throughout the rest of the process, begin by extending your arms towards the earth, palms together. Then, inhale and keeping your hands in prayer position, bring them to your heart. Exhale, as you bow forward and acknowledge the Divine in each other with the Sanskrit salutation “Namaste,” which means “I honor the Divine in you as a reflection of the Divine within me.” Inhale, as you straighten back up. Finally, exhale as you allow your hands to return to the starting position, pointed towards the earth.

2) The Bubble

Now, create a bubble around you and your partner. Do this by waving your arms around both of you defining the shape of the bubble that surrounds you. Then gesture, as if removing an object from your bubble and verbally say out loud what you are removing from the bubble. These are things that won’t serve you in this practice (the past, distractions, anger, worry, etc.) Next, gesture and state what things you want to bring into the bubble. These are things that will enhance your connection (love, willingness, presence, trust etc.) At this point, you may want to offer an appreciation or blessing to the other person (“I honor your heart, which gives so much love to the world.”) Creating the bubble helps to call you into present moment awareness and creates a safe space in which to practice the eye gazing meditation.

3) Share Your Desires, Fears and Boundaries

Once the bubble is created, share your intentions/desires, fears and boundaries related to this practice. First, one person speaks while the other person listens without judgment or commentary. Then you switch roles. Here is an example:

“I desire to stay present, open and connect deeply to your soul.”

“My fear is that I will get self-conscious and will start acting silly.”

“My boundary is to stay connected to you, even if resistance arises.”

Why boundaries? When I teach this practice in my classes, people often have resistance to setting boundaries. I explain that boundaries are not walls, they are bridges. Bridges help bring people together. Intimacy happens when people have “healthy” boundaries. Healthy boundaries allow you to feel safe, stay open and be present. Boundaries are dynamic, so it is important to check-in periodically with yourself to see if your boundaries have changed. If they have changed, update your partner so they can honor your new boundaries. Here are a few examples:

“I need to end this practice by noon.”

“I don’t want to be touched during this meditation.”

“I am committed to staying present in this practice. If I go into thinking, I will close my eyes for a moment and bring myself back into the practice.”

4) Eye Gazing Practice

Once you have created the bubble and shared your desires, fears and boundaries, begin the eye gazing practice. Traditionally, it is recommended that you begin by gazing into left eye. This is because the left side of the body is considered to be the receptive side. Use a soft gaze. This is not a staring contest. It is ok to change eyes if and when you feel called too. Just relax, breathe and allow the experience to unfold. Notice what arises without judging it. Be open and curious, like a child.

You can do this practice for as long as you want. I suggest you begin with 2 to 5 minutes of eye gazing the first time you try it. Then close your eyes, go inside and reconnect internally for 1-2 minutes. When you are ready, open your eyes and begin again. Extend the time as you get more comfortable with the process. Doing this practice for an extended period of time can take you to new levels of connection. Set aside a time when you can practice for 45 to 60 minutes. Eye gazing is a great way to discover how open you are and to notice when resistance arises. If you feel resistance, allow it to be there. Feel it and see if you can allow it to melt away.

5) Share Your Insights

Afterward discuss your experience with your partner. How does it feel to be seen? How does it feel to look deeply into another person? Were you able to see beyond their body and personality? Did you notice their face changing form? Did you feel your heart open? This is a great practice for developing intimacy. It can be helpful to keep a journal of your experiences.

Eye gazing is a simple and powerful practice. It cuts though illusion and opens the door to Truth. When done regularly, it can transform your understanding of who you are. Even if this is the only Tantric practice you ever do, you could Awaken through it alone. I invite you to practice eye gazing with your friends as well as your lovers. When done before and during sex eye gazing can enhance your connection both sexually and spiritually, making love then becomes a powerful meditation.

Copyright 2011 Crystal Dawn Morris

Couples Coaching- Many Benefits in a Short Time

I recently had a couple tell me their relationship  had improve profoundly both sexually and spiritually after studying Tantra with me for a week. The man was very new to Tantra and a bit skeptical. After practicing the exercises he was amazed to feel orgasmic energy throughout his body. Especially, around his heart and head. The next day he excitedly reported that while making love he had 2 orgasms just a few minutes apart. ” This is something I never thought could happen to me!”

The woman was delighted to report that for the first time in her life she was able to experience a vaginal orgasm with sexual intercourse. She also felt that the communication exercises were helping them move through old issues and opening them to deeper intimacy and connection.

The tools I teach are very accessible and can significantly improve your life and relationships.

Sex and Consciousness in Sedona May 7-9, 2010

30 Amazing Presenters – 3 Juicy Days and Nights
Embracing Arousal- Personal Growth and Planetary Union

Tantra Teachings, Sacred Sexual Healing, Shamanic Journeys, Transformational Ceremonies,and … Join us as we Awaken Bliss in the Red Rocks of Sedona.

For the ninth year in a row, Sex and Consciousness Educators, Guides and Practitioners will gather in Sedona, May 7-9, 2010. They will come together to share their knowledge and wisdom of Sacred Sexuality and Tantra with each other and the general public.

Sexuality is an important part of the human experience. Anyone who desires a healthier relationship with their sexuality is invited to attend the conference. This year the conference is being held at the Sedona Rouge Hotel and Spa, located at 2250 West Hwy 89A in West Sedona, AZ 86336