Safe Sex Script Makes Awkward Easy

chat-23713_1280This “script” is a good way to initiate a conversation about your sexual history and to ask someone else to share their sexual history with you.  Review your answers to the statements below. Practice saying them out loud in front of a mirror. Next, share this process with a friend or lover. Ideally, this is done prior to finding yourself in a sexually charged situation.

  1. “The last time I got tested for Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s) was…”
  1. A. “The tests I had done were…”   B. “The results of those tests were…”

A Comprehensive STI Panel consists of: HIV, Syphilis (Rapid Plasma Reagin test), Oral Herpes (HSV-1), Genital Herpes (HSV-2), HPV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Hepatitis B and Hepatitis C. Female testing usually includes a Pap Smear and wet mount to check for other common vaginal infections.

  1. “My sexual orientation is…” (Straight, Gay, Bi, Transgender, Fluid…)
  1. “My relationship status is…” (Single. Dating. Living with a lover. Married. In an open relationship with one or more persons. Fluid bonded with one or more persons.)
  1. “My current relationship agreements that you need to be aware of are…”
  1. “My safer sex practices and/or boundaries are…”  
  1. “I use___________ to prevent unwanted pregnancies.”
  1. Share any risky activities you may have experienced since you were last tested.
  1. Then ask the other person, “How about you?”Listen closely to what they say and how they say it…  Ask questions, if you need clarification.
  1. If, after you both have shared your sexual histories you decide to engage in sex, take time to discuss what sexual activities you are open to at this time and what is off the menu. Share you desires, fears and “healthy boundaries.” Healthy boundaries are what you need to feel safe and stay open; they are dynamic and can expand as well as contract. Intimacy grows when you stay present, are authentic and communicate clearly using “I” statements.

©2015 Crystal Dawn Morris, The Love and Freedom Coach, Tantra Teacher, ISTA Faculty

www.TantraForAwakening.org  928.862.0762  Crystal@tantraforawakening.org

Tantra 4 Awakening Workshop in Montreal Canada

Monde Ose welcomes the return of  Crystal Dawn Morris, Certified Sky Dancing Tantra Teacher to Montreal, Canada. She will be offering her  Awakening the Ecstatic Body: The Full Body Orgasm and Beyond Workshop on
February 22-24, 2013.

  • Open Your Inner Bliss Channel
  • Learn 3 Keys to the Ecstatic Response
  • Become a Multi-Orgasmic Being
  • Experience a Juicy Tantric Ritual
  • Expand Your Capacity for Intimacy and  Pleasure

This experiential weekend workshop will awaken bliss in every cell of your being. You will experience a full body orgasm, outside a sexual context. You will leave this workshop with the ability to tap into the universal field of love. You will learn tools for connecting intimately with yourself and others. This event is open to individuals and couples.There is no nudity in this class.
Important Note: You do not have to have experienced Level 1 to participate in Level 2. The course is designed to welcome beginners as well as experienced students of Tantra.

Reserve your space now! Follow this link:
https://mondeose.com/Events/2013-02-23/February-22-24-%E2%80%93-Tantra-4-Awakening-Weekend-Workshop-%E2%80%93-Level-2

For more information contact Crystal Dawn or Frank Mondeose.

Monde Ose Brings SkyDancing Tantra to Montreal

July 20-22, 2012
Discover the Magic of SkyDancing Tantra in Montreal

Awakening the Ecstatic Body : Opening the Path to Bliss

Friday Night Puja 7-10 pm

Saturday 9:30 AM – 9:30 PM Sunday 10 AM-6 PM

  • Open Your inner Flute
  • Explore and Attune Your Chakras
  • Expand Your Ability to Tap into Bliss
  • Learn to Communicate Your Desires Effectively
  • Experience a Heart-Opening Tantric Puja

By the end of the weekend you will feel an expanded flow of energy, awareness, and ecstasy throughout your being. You will leave this weekend with tools to create a more joyful, pleasure-filled, awakened life. This weekend is open to individuals and couples. There is no nudity in this class.

$300 per person / $500 per couple Pre-registration required, please include your phone number.

Register at   https://mondeose.com/Events/2012-07-01/TANTRA-4-AWAKENING-Level-1-Tantra-workshop

Or email Crystal@TantraforAwakening.com

The Alchemy of Sacred Relating

I have been in a crucible of transformation which began May 7th with me co-facilitating the, Level One Spiritual Sexual Shamanic Practitioner Training, with Baba Dez Nichols. Learn more about it at: https://schooloftemplearts.org/ . This training is the foundational work required to bring you into a place a presence and internal ease so you can begin holding space for others in their healing process. This was my forth time of being exposed to this work and it was anchored within me in a whole new way. I am now in day 4 of the Level Two SSSPT which a process of totally integrating and coming into inner harmony no matter what things look or feel like. Very powerful work. Level 2 includes 3 powerful initiations- 1) spiritual, 2) shamanic and 3) sexual. Tonight will will be exploring Sacred Union, which begins within our own being first. The Universe, being very generous, placed this article in my inbox this morning. I hope you enjoy it as much as I am. It can be found at https://tomkenyon.com/alchemyofrelationship .

The Alchemy of Relationship by Tom Kenyon

This article was taken from the Magdalen Manuscript (ORB Communications).

Many of us do relationships the way we play poker. We do everything possible to get the upper hand. And if that fails, we bluff. We pretend to hold cards we don’t have. We cheat. We lie.

And while this is the model for many a relationship in our post modern era, it is not the model for Sacred Relationship as described in the Manuscript.

Let me be very up front here. Sacred Relationship is not for everyone. In fact, I suspect that there are far fewer persons capable or even willing to undertake it than there are those who prefer to play emotional card games.

This type of relationship demands utmost honesty both with oneself and with one’s partner. Instead of hiding our cards, we lay them all out on the table. All our hopes, all our fears, all our petty and jealous thoughts, all our conniving: all of it gets laid out in the clear light of awareness for our partner to see. And he or she must do the same. It will not work if there are back doors unlocked with mental escape in mind. It will not work if both partners are not absolutely impeccably honest with each other. And the reason for this radical type of honesty is that without it, the Alchemy of Relationship cannot take place. Now this may be a new term to many, even students of internal alchemy, since the dynamics of intimate relationship are rarely discussed in the four major alchemical streams (Egyptian, Taoist, Yoga Tantra and Buddhist Tantra).

So I think it might be good to define what I mean here, and to lay some type of foundation. Like all types of alchemy, this type of work is about changing one form into another. The form, in this case, is the inter-dynamics that have become habituated between two people. After a while, people tend to get into ruts. The liveliness that existed at the beginning of the relationship begins to fade. Both people become more or less unconscious. The harsh reality is that it takes continual vigilance and effort to keep a relationship conscious and alive.

Many relationships drop by the wayside because the partners are either unwilling or unable to make the efforts required to sustain them. Instead of experiencing the newness of each moment within the relationship, a kind of dullness seeps in over time; what used to be exciting is now boring. And worse, a kind of psychological and emotional lethargy sets in, and both partners succumb to the dulling effects of unconsciousness.

This type of unconsciousness is a death knell to psychological awareness and insight; and although it is rarely mentioned, this type of unconsciousness has a negative effect on one’s spiritual life as well. So the form that needs to be changed within a relationship is literally the form of interactions that habitually take place between the two partners.
Like all types of alchemy, there must be a container for the reactions to occur. And in this case, it is the container of safety and appreciation that provides the reservoir for transformation. If there is a lack of safety or appreciation, this type of alchemy cannot be undertaken. And if you have decided you wish to try this type of alchemy in your relationship, I suggest you do an analysis first. Honestly assess if you feel safety and appreciation in your relationship. If you don’t, you will be wasting your time trying to undertake this type of alchemy with your current partner. I suggest you focus your efforts, instead, on the solitary practices mentioned in the Manuscript. If you still want to give it a try, get your partner to talk about these feelings of danger and lack of appreciation that you are feeling. Only if and when they get resolved, should you consider taking on this type of alchemy.

So now we have two of the three elements needed for alchemy: something to be transformed (the habitual patterns of interaction) and the container (the safety net, if you will, of the relationship itself). A third element is needed; and that is, of course, energy to drive the reaction. There is usually plenty of energy in relationships in the form of neurotic patterns, hopes, fears, and desires. We’ll get to those in a moment, but for now I want to talk about steel.

Our psychological selves are much like swords made from steel alloys. They have been forged in the hot searing foundry of our childhood, in the formative pressures of our early experiences. It is this early period of life that bonds the elements of our psyches together. And like steel, this was done under immense heat and pressure. Some of us were abused by overbearing or downright hostile or even destructive parents. Some of us were left to our own devices without any kind of support or guidance. And every kind of parental/child relationship falls in between these two polarities. The possibilities of childhood pressures are virtually endless, and so too are the psychological alloys that result from these types of experiences.

There is a lot of talk about the child within in many personal growth groups, and while there is certainly value in making contact with this younger self, it is not always pretty. Our cultural myth is that childhood is a time of innocence, a time in which everything is right with the world. For some children this is true; for many it is definitely not.

I remember being at a fellow therapist’s house for a party quite a few years ago. Most of the adults were practicing therapists, psychologists or psychiatrists. I had plopped myself in a big oversized sofa, and, sipping my Pepsi, I noticed a remarkable event. One of the therapists had brought his son and his son’s best friend to the party. It was clear that the two boys were buds. They were playing some kind of card game and respectfully giving each other a turn. There were no attempts at cheating, and they seemed to be in a bubble of camaraderie.

Then the boy’s father came into the room and asked both kids if they needed anything. They both looked up with cherub faces and smiled. No they said, in the cutest little boy voices. The father patted his son on the back, and as he walked off, he nonchalantly patted his son’s friend on the back as well. For a moment, his son looked at the incident in abject horror. You could see that he could not believe his eyes. And then as his father turned the corner into the other room, his son pulled back and hit his best friend in the face! This was not childhood innocence. This was childhood rage. He was not willing to share affections from his father, not even with his best friend. This type of jealousy is typical of higher mammals, and we are, for all our self-righteous self-congratulatory delusions, still mammals. No matter how high we get spiritually, we will, for as long as we live, share traits with our mammalian brothers and sisters.

The inner life of a child is often far different than those around him or her imagine it to be. Surrounded by both dangers and opportunities, the psychological life of a child is directly shaped by how he or she chooses to deal with them. Whether it is something as life threatening as a deranged parent or a child molester, or seemingly innocuous as whom to go to the prom with, does not in some ways matter. While the impact of fighting for one’s life may very well imprint a child’s behavior well into adulthood, the little decisions of life, like who to socialize with or not, also have impact. All these major and minor decisions create internal psychological heat and pressure. The alloys of one’s personality get bonded together or burned away. The sword has been tempered by the time we reach adulthood, and the alloy of our personalities has been set. Some of us emerge from this childhood foundry with rock hard edges; others of us are blunt. Some of us hold our edges, and some of us can never seem to hold anything.

The thing about steel is that it tends to remain in its original form once it leaves the foundry. And one of the few things that can ever re-configure the alloy is if the steel gets as hot as it did when it was first formed. In the alchemical work of Sacred Relationship, we voluntarily put ourselves back in the foundry. The heat that arises between two people when their neuroses rub against each other can get quite intense. If both people can find the courage to be radically honest with themselves and with each other in these searing moments, the psychological alloys can be altered. A new type of aliveness then enters the relationship fueled by the energy of psychological truth.

The thing is–most of us will do almost anything to avoid psychological heat. When we get uncomfortable, many of us get the hell out of Dodge. Now for some of us this means literally packing up and getting out of town, or at least out of sight. For some of us it means that we are physically present, but no longer emotionally present. We numb up. We become automatons. We move and talk, almost like normal, but we have retreated far, far inside. Others of us numb ourselves with alcohol or drugs. And some of us do it with television. We humans are, after all, quite clever and creative. We can find all sorts of ways to avoid facing ourselves. In fact, they are far too numerous for me to list here. But I suspect you get the idea. I guess the real question here is this–what do you do when things get psychologically too hot for your taste? What do you do when you are on the verge of feeling something that you don’t want to feel?
For those in Sacred Relationship such feelings are a call to presence. It is a time to be radically honest, and for both partners to express their true feelings no matter how embarrassing or scary they might be. By speaking their truths to each other, an enlivening element enters the dynamic. Psychological honesty results in psychological insight. And with insight there is hope for awareness, and with awareness there can be change. This chapter is hardly a manual for the Alchemy of Relationship. It’s mainly, I think, a warning. Magdalen alluded to this in the Manuscript. She called it obscurations to flight. That sounds wonderfully exotic doesn’t it? Well, it isn’t very exotic when the obscuration is clearly in your face. And it isn’t very exotic feeling when the foundry of the relationship gets so hot that you feel you are dissolving (psychologically that is). It takes courage and fortitude to stay in the foundry when the heat begins to weaken the stability of one’s self-perceived image. Few of us care to look foolish, scared, petty or jealous. And we will often go through elaborate means to hide these feelings from ourselves or others.

But in Sacred Relationship these things invariably float to the surface like mud that has been stirred up from the bottom of a barrel. The thing is to realize that this does not mean you are doing it (Sacred Relationship) wrong; it means that you are probably doing it right. As Magdalen said in the Manuscript, the power of the alchemy extrudes, or pushes out, the dross. This can be fascinating when the dross is being pushed out of your partner, but it is truly horrific when it extrudes out of you.

What makes Sacred Relationship sacred is that it is truly a holy way of being. The root of the word holy actually means to make whole. So… when we do something that creates wholeness (in this case psychological wholeness), we are engaged in a sacred or holy act.

In the crucible of mutual safety, honesty and appreciation, it is possible to forge a new kind of self. This new self is psychologically more honest, more aware and freer than its counterpart before entering the foundry of relationship. And like the phoenix that arises from its own ashes, this self has wings. It can fly places that it could only imagine before.

There are mysteries here, and treasures that await those who have the courage to enter the depths of themselves and their partners. It is not, as I said, for everyone. You will probably know if you are a likely candidate because you will feel it in your soul, your heart.

If you enter this path, know that there are no manuals. There is precious little guidance out there. The path to spirituality has traditionally been one of solitude. And while times of solitude may be necessary for those in Sacred Relationship, something has turned. They agree to walk the path to godhood together, side by side, through both heaven and hell, through the brilliant summits where all things are suddenly crystal clear, and through the dark valley of psychological death where it is hard to even see one’s foot in front of the other. And yet through the darkness of not knowing, a deep primordial force begins to rise up. It requires an unusual type of holy trinity – three things for it to do its most holy task- mutual safety, psychological honesty and appreciation of the Beloved.
Have a good journey!

© 2012 Tom Kenyon. All rights reserved.
You may make copies of this message and distribute it in any media as long as you change nothing, do not charge for it, credit the author, and include this complete copyright notice and web address.

ISTA Training Heals Shame, Guilt and Fear

For the past 5.000 years humanity has been carrying the wound of shame, guilt and fear about our bodies,sexuality and desire. This training is designed to address those issues. The foundation of this work begins by healing our personal wounds. As we recognize our wholeness we may be called to help others to heal. If you are ready to create a more heart-full, open and compassionate planet please consider taking this training.

Sacred Sexual Shamanic Practitioners Training

Sedona – 07 May 2012 – 13 May 2012

This training is for people who are committed to the ongoing practice of evolving consciousness and embodying bliss, and who desire to support others on this path. Central to this are presence, personal empowerment, emotional intelligence, sexual wholeness, and a lifestyle which honors the interconnectedness of all things. Acknowledging and embracing one’s shadow (or un-integrated psychological material) is the cornerstone of this work. Some people take this training for their own personal enrichment while others are interested in the profession of Sacred Sexual Practitioner or Educator.

Core Curriculum Includes:

Intention and Invocation

Ethics-Appropriate Instruction and Sharing

Boundary Identification and Healing

Insights for Working with Men, Women and Couples

Clearing Emotional Blocks for Self and Clients

Anchoring, Grounding and Sustaining Healing Change

Issues Related to Religion, Social Dogma and Sexuality

Business,, Marketing and Community Building Skills

Legal Considerations

SkyDancing Tantra in Asheville, NC

Sex, Intimacy and Consciousness:

An Evening of SkyDancing

February 22, 7-9:30 pm

Asheville Tantra School

2 Westwood Place,

West Asheville, NC 28806

• Practice the 3 keys of SkyDancing Tantra

• Find out how sex and consciousness are related

• Learn how healthy boundaries increase intimacy

• Consciously connect and disconnect your sexual energy

Join Crystal Dawn Morris, Certified SkyDancing Tantra Teacher and founder of Tantra for Awakening in Sedona, AZ, for an evening of exploration and transformation using a variety of SkyDancing Tantra practices. Learn how SkyDancing Tantra can help you to feel more love, joy and connection in your relationships. Please wear comfortable clothes and bring a water bottle. Suggested donation is $10-20.

Awakening the Full Body "O"

Art available at Mandalas.com

Human beings are naturally ecstatic, it is only through conditioning that we loose our ability the feel  Bliss daily. Tantra is a path that recognizes that sexual energy can open up the field of ecstasy and expand Awareness. It teaches people how to move their sexual energy, which is life force energy, from their genitals, up to the top of their head, and everywhere in between. This allows the entire physical and energetic body to become full of Bliss. When the sexual energy reaches the crown it can expand a person’s Awareness of the mystical realms, allowing them to recognize they are Consciousness in human form.

A full body orgasm is the experience of feeling your whole body vibrating with orgasmic energy. This can be done outside of a sexual context as well as while making love. Anyone can learn how to have a full body orgasm by following the steps below.

7  Steps for Opening the Inner Flute:

1) Stand with your knees hip width apart and slightly bent.

2) Breathe through your mouth and deep into the belly, allowing it to expand begin activating your sexual energy.

3) Once you have master the belly breath you can increase the intensity by inhaling as if you are sipping through straw. Exhale with an open mouth and release a deep sound from the belly. Sound also intensifies the expansion of energy.

4) Now, allow your pelvis to begin rocking. Keeping the knees bent, let your pelvis rotate freely. As you inhale rock the hips back, arching the small of the back. As you exhale, tuck the tail bone under, flattening the small of the back. Breath, sound and movement are the 3 Keys of Sky Dancing Tantra.

5) Next, add the PC pump. As you inhale squeeze the pelvic floor muscles pulling them upwards and as you exhale let them relax back down. It feels a bit like you are trying to stop and start a stream of urine. These are sometimes called Kegel exercises.

6) Put all the steps together. As you inhale imagine you are breathing the energy up from your root to your heart. Practice this until you feel the energy pulsing from your root to your heart. You can play with speeding up and slowing down your respiratory rate.

7) Once you have mastered connecting root and heart move the energy up to the crown. Practice until you can feel the energy flowing from your root to your crown. See yourself as a rainbow bridge of light connecting Earth and Sky. This is a wonderful way to get your energy flowing.

Once the’ Inner Flute” is open you are ready to feel erotic energy  throughout your physical and energetic bodies. This allows you to experience the  Full Body Orgasm both sexually and outside a sexual context.

3 Steps to the Ecstatic Response Process:

1) The “Streaming Reflex” helps you recognize that your body is made of ecstatic energy which you can stimulate and expand whenever you want to. You learn to experience orgasmic energy outside of a sexual context and discover that you can awaken your own pleasure body with out genital contact. The practice-You begin by standing with your feet hip width apart and knees bent. Allow your thighs to begin to vibrate side to side. Allow the vibration the spread up and down the body until your whole body is vibrating. It is helpful to do this with music, I recommend Osho’s Kundalini Meditation CD. It is also helpful to have

2) The “Ecstatic Response” is the process of being relaxed in high states of arousal. You learn to become a bigger container for ecstatic energy and to relax fully letting the energy naturally expand. The effect is one of sexual excitement and deep peace. When you master the ecstatic response you move beyond the genital orgasm and discover the full body orgasm. The practice- After several minutes of your whole body streaming lay down on the floor with your knees bent and your feet close together. Let your knees gently fall apart like a butterflies wings opening. Allow your body to relax fully and continue to open and close your knees. This process allows the ecstatic energy to spread throughout the body. This is best done listening to gentle, relaxing music.

3) Once you mastered Opening the Inner Flute and the Full Body Orgasm outside a sexual context you can introduce these practices into your love making and experience them within a sexual context. Sex becomes an alchemical experience that transforms the physical body into the Bliss Body.

Copyright 2010 Crystal Dawn Morris

Tantra and Ultimate Unification

Art available at Mandalas.com

Ultimate Unification -Article by Ma Ananda Sarita PhD, published in Kindred Spirit, Issue 93, July/Aug 2008. Sarita is author of two books, Divine Sexuality and Tantric Love, translated into many languages throughout the world.

In her work as a teacher of Tantra, Mahasatvaa Ma Ananda Sarita PhD is often asked, ‘What is Tantra?’ The mass media and subsequently the collective mind imagines this life approach to be all about six-hour sex, better orgasms, orgies, and more. In fact, it is a refined path to enlightenment which uses all facets of the human being as springboards into the vast sea of consciousness.

Perhaps the Western mind has become fixated on the sexual dimension of Tantra simply because we have undergone 2,000 years of sexual repression. Certain influential individuals created a spiritual world view which repressed women and consequently diminished our potential of having direct access to the divine through sexual ecstasy.

Tertullian, one of the founding fathers of orthodox Christianity, said: ‘Women are the gate by which the demon enters.’ Tantra is not fixated on sex but simply accepts and honours it as our primordial energy.

My beloved Master Osho wrote a book called From Sex to Superconsciousness. That title sums up in a nutshell the Tantra approach to life. Tantra methods offer a milieu in which an alchemical process is instigated through the union of opposite polarities. When the alchemy of union reaches a certain exquisite refinement, there is a sudden awakening into oneness with the whole. The fragrance of such experience is innocence and playfulness.

Abundance of Unity

Practitioners of the Tantric arts have been described as walking on air, because they tread so lightly and joyously through life, with hearts, minds and consciousness wide open to all that is. In Tantra, there is true choice-less awareness. Sex and spirit are considered as one. Light and dark are equally revered. Life and death are both fuel for Samadhi.

The path of love and devotion (primarily a feminine approach) and the path of witnessing and meditation (primarily a male approach) are embraced equally, with sensitive intelligence. Volumes have been written on Tantra, but it can truly be understood only by those who are willing to dive into the practice of Tantra techniques.

Each Tantra meditation method opens a door into enlightened consciousness, using many different facets of human experience. The methods are traditionally passed on as a living transmission from teacher to student. The teacher creates a potent atmosphere for a student to be able to extract the nectar from a meditation technique through the deeply lived experience of it.

Divine Spark

It is said in Tantra scriptures that each cell of the body contains the whole universe; the microcosm is the macrocosm. If we penetrate even deeper into this analogy, we can observe that our whole phenomenal world is created through opposite polarities in a constant dance together. As a song from the radio of my childhood says, ‘let me tell you bout the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees, and the stars up above, and a thing called love.’ Seduction, sex and love as well as cognitive manifestations are all ‘God in action’.

By studying our own bodies and reproductive actions as the microcosm, we may surmise that the ‘big bang’ was not so much a ‘bang’ as a great orgasm! (Perhaps scientists are aware of this but just don’t have the courage to say it). In order to play with the alchemical union of opposites, it is helpful to become fully empowered in our opposite polarities. When a polarity is fully charged in its unique qualities, there is magnetic attraction towards its opposite. Women need to understand and resonate in the polarity of the feminine, and men need to understand and resonate in the polarity of the masculine. When these two elements meet, it’s electric!

Lingam and Yoni: Sacred Symbols of Cosmic Unity

In Shiva temples throughout India, which is the place where Tantra developed many thousands of years ago, we find beautifully sculpted images of the male phallus sitting within the female vagina. The male phallus is called lingam, meaning ‘wand of light’ and the female genitalia is referred to as yoni, meaning, ‘sacred place’.

The ancient sages from pre-Aryan history discovered a great secret: God is to be found in the harmonious union of our male and female genitals. ‘Universal energy, the substance of the world, is represented by the Yoni which grasps the Lingam. It is only when the phallus, the giver of semen, is surrounded by the yoni that God can manifest and the universe appear.’ (from Karpatri, a Sanskrit scripture, translated by Alain Danielou)

Some people may find this shocking, since as a culture we still carry a hangover from Catholic and Victorian anti-sexual morality in our mental and physical conditioning. But just imagine for a moment a whole society which envisions sex as bringing us into oneness with God. Such a society would naturally regard all of life as sacred. Rape of people or the environment would be impossible for such people.

Restoring Balance

Now, let us consider the immense phallic symbols which are present in many cities of developed countries, large pillars, proclaiming the masculine as the dominant force throughout the world. These edifices are sadly lacking a feminine yoni of equal proportions to sit within.

Even if we just change this one highly visible outward symbol of imbalance, transforming it into a lingam within a yoni rather than a large phallus standing alone, our society will change dramatically. Symbols, particularly sculpted ones, contain potent messages which affect our subconscious orientation.

The masculine principle is charged with testosterone, a hormone which gives rise to the urge for action, adventure, aggression, creativity, competition, hierarchy, clear structures, protection of the feminine and goal-oriented sexuality.

If the male attributes are not balanced with the female progesterone dominant qualities of love, devotion, nurturing, nesting and compassion, then we will have a world of testosterone running amok, which is the case.

To bring these two polarities together we need to find intelligent ways of accepting and honoring both. Let us start by understanding something very basic – how woman’s and man’s temperaments and sexuality function.

Feminine abundance

The nature of woman is yin, receptive, cool, resting, flowing, yielding, soft, dark, and mysterious. She is in essence the womb of the universe, from which all emerges and to which everything returns. She is loving, compassionate, nurturing. She is tremendously powerful in the same way a river or an ocean is powerful. Water yields, and yet it can wear away rock. She is juicy, like a ripe fruit.

Her sexuality is triggered through love and sensual play which she may like to continue for hours. In general, a woman takes 20 minutes to reach full sexual arousal. Once aroused, she can have multiple and full body orgasms. After orgasm, she remains at peak arousal for another 20 minutes. When she is satiated, her love and devotion knows no boundaries.

Many women are not aware of their beautiful, powerful qualities and try to emulate the masculine, thinking this will fulfill them. However, it only makes them confused and resentful.

The places in a woman’s body which can best serve her in getting in touch with feminine power are: belly (second chakra) representing emotional fluidity, sensuality, birth and death; breasts, (fourth chakra) representing love, nurturing, compassion; and forehead (sixth chakra) representing clairvoyance and intuition.

In sexual union, in meditation and in daily life, if the woman can be touched in these areas, or can focus on these areas, her capacity for orgasm, for abundance and for feeling at home within herself will be greatly enhanced.

Male reverence

The nature of man is yang, hot, active, hard, strong, outgoing and target oriented. He is in essence the ‘protector’ of the feminine. He is so powerful that in one ejaculation he offers enough sperm to populate half the planet! When he gives of his essence he gives his very life and is therefore also quite vulnerable.

Balancing power and vulnerability is the lesson each man needs to learn. In biological terms, which also affects his psyche, his role is to plant the seed (not a genetically modified one!) and to then protect the delicate seedling carried within the vessel of the woman till it reaches maturity.

His sexuality is triggered through visual and cognitive stimulation which creates an immediate response in his sex centre. A man can arrive to full arousal in a matter of three minutes (though some men have discovered how to prolong their pleasure for hours). Once he is at peak arousal and ejaculates, he experiences a great loss of vital energy and needs to rest and recuperate before further arousal.

When a man feels truly honoured and received by his beloved, he connects with his deep instinctual desire to revere and protect her as well as to reveal his vulnerability and tenderness with her.

His full potential is realized when he is able to become the custodian and protector not only of his woman but of the family, the community and ultimately, our mother earth. Many men are not aware of how to contact and live their full vibrant potential. Men of our days tend to vacillate between being over-dominant and emotionally cut off , or being timid and unsure of their role.

The Key of Being a Real Man

Chintan Norbert Bila, my co-teacher in Tantra, says, “The patriarchal foundation of our society for the last few thousand years has given rise to male supremacy. However, with the recent rise in women’s liberation man is now in mutation, and even in the process of losing his sense of identity.

Men get into stress, trying to juggle power and vulnerability. His contradictory nature has a tendency to nurture frustration and destructiveness. He reaches a point of no return, where he needs a catharsis as an outlet for the steam of his internal pressure cooker.

This masculine tendency is what gives rise to war, power politics, highly competitive forms of business, or competitive sports. Luckily, nature offers a rainbow bridge between his contradictory qualities.

The bridge of transformation for men is a sense of humour and playfulness, leading to detachment and relaxation. These qualities engulf and transcend the social and rational games of society.

In the Indian tradition, this playful approach to life is called Leela, the ‘divine play’ or ‘God’s play’. Testosterone needs to be expressed, but it can have other outlets besides conflictual competition. If a man orientates himself around the worldview of a society based on conqueror and conquered then he will live within the law of the jungle, the struggle for the survival of the fittest in a competitive environment.

If he integrates a vision of himself and the world which is larger and more fluid, the possibility for expression becomes multidimensional. He can be a clown, a lover, a practitioner of martial arts, an artist, a child, a king, and a sage all at once. The multifaceted aspects of his nature can come together in a spiral dance, making him vast enough to contain all the contradictions of life.

In Tantra, women function as the initiatress of the man. He surrenders himself before the power and grace of the maternal feminine. He lets go of his ego which was built around a jungle based mentality. This permits him to be reborn with the joyful innocence of his inner child intact.

He discovers renewal of life with a strength which bubbles up naturally, without effort. This time, he is deeper and more authentic. His heart shines forth, his consciousness is vaster, his eyes are open to both seen and unseen worlds, and his creative masculine role is radiantly apparent.”

Secrets for Masculine Fulfilment

The places in a man’s body which can best serve him to get in touch with his fulfilment in sexuality, creativity and spirituality are: the sex centre (first chakra) representing survival, sexuality, animal instinct; the solar plexus (third chakra) representing the meeting of all contradictions and the expression of one’s individual soul calling; and the throat (fifth chakra) representing creative expression, becoming the master of your own destiny.

If a man can be touched and honoured in these areas, can accept his animal nature and apply the creativity of the fifth chakra to it, and can unlock the koan of the meeting of power and vulnerability posed by the third chakra, he is well on his way to becoming a god.

Yin and Yang Sex

The male and female chakra systems fit together like lock and key. The chakras where the male energy is empowered, are where the woman is receptive, and the chakras where the woman is empowered, the man is receptive. We can become adept at making love through the whole chakra system, realizing a full spectrum of ecstatic potential.

In such union, we are catapulted into a space beyond duality, expressed through the crown chakra. When we apply the refined intelligence of Tantra methods to opposite polarities in life, learning to surf the waves of yin and yang inherent in our bodies and all of nature, we are gifted with illimitable bliss. A woman who is flowing in her yin power will become an initiatress on the Tantra path.

A man who is comfortable in his yang energy will become a master lover who carries the power of god in his magic ‘wand of light’. Each one regenerates the other in an infinite circle of conscious love. A simple secret for ultimate sexual fulfi lment is to give equal space to yin and yang energies during love union.

The Mud and the Lotus

In Tantra, there is a potent symbolism which is used to illustrate the spiritual path. A beautiful lotus floats on the surface of the water.

Its roots arise from the rich mud at the bottom of the lake. The lotus represents spirit and the mud represents sexuality. It is said, ‘no mud, no lotus’. By accepting these polarities and really exploring them (not just thinking about it!), we are transformed.

In my Tantra groups, I have found that the deeper we can go into conscious and loving exploration of our instinctual sexuality, the higher we fly into spiritual awakening. And the more we can enhance the polarities of male and female aspects, the deeper the ecstasy which arises from such a union.

Men and women learn how to truly honour, accept, love and balance each other. By embracing and exploring the ‘mud’ of our beings, we discover the lotus of love, and in the meeting of the opposite polarities of male and female, sex and spirit, we discover innocence. We come home.

The long pilgrimage away from ourselves towards an unknown god ceases, and we find a new dawn within ourselves. We are plugged into the infinity loop of the union of opposites. In Sanskrit, this is called Ardhanareshvara, the representation of God who is half male, half female.

Reprinted from the Osho World Online Newsletter May 2011

www.oshoworld.com

Tantric Sex – Reignite Your Relationship with the Pleasure Game

At the beginning of a relationship sex is often spontaneous, intense and erotic. This phenomenon is called the Honeymoon phase. It is when the “New Relationship Energy” or NRE, makes everything exciting. Over time the NRE naturally fades. Romance dwindles, passion wanes and sex often becomes routine. The Pleasure Game is one way to rekindle the passion and romance in your relationship.

1) Make a date. When life gets busy it is easy to forget to schedule time for you and your beloved to have uninterrupted time together. Turn off your cell phones, shut off the TV, and disconnect from the outside world.

2) Create an altar or temple area by decorating the space where you are going to play so it feels as if you are somewhere special. Use fabrics, candles, flowers or whatever feels right to make the space feel inviting and exotic. I know a guy who surprised his wife by turning his garage into a Temple and making his Harley-Davidson into an altar where he invited her to be pleasured.

3) Take a ritual bath, using it as a transition into sacred time. Allow the bath or shower to wash away the cares of the day. Make a commitment to avoid digressing into mundane concerns about the house, kids or work. Dress in clothes that make you feel special, like a God or Goddess.

4) Sit facing each other; create a bubble around both of you. Use your arms to define the shape of the bubble, imagine it surrounds both of you. This bubble allows you to let go of the outside world and create a safe and sacred space to play the “Pleasure Game.” Remove things from your bubble that might interfere with you enjoying the game. Do this by stating out loud what you are removing from the bubble and at the same time make a gesture as you remove it. Examples may include: the past, distractions, anger, work, etc. Then, bring things into your bubble that will enhance the experience and make a gesture as you bring them into the bubble. Examples might include: love, sensuality, presence, trust, etc. Once the bubble is created, share your desires, fears and boundaries related to this game. (Boundaries are what you need to feel safe and stay open.) One person speaks while the other listens without judgment or commentary, then you switch roles.

5) Before beginning the game take a few minutes to look into each other’s eyes and breathe together. Allow your hearts to connect and begin to feel the energy flowing between you. Imagine that as you explore pleasure together you are doing it not only for yourselves but for all the men and women in the world.

6) Play the Pleasure Game. Decide how much time you have to play the game and divide the time in half. Pick who will give and who will receive first. The receiver then tells the giver how they want to be pleasured for their allotted amount of time. Then the roles are reversed.

Some requests might include: hair brushing, a pedicure or a massage, acting out a fantasy, performing a favorite sexual act, trying a new sexual position, mutual self-pleasuring, erotic storytelling, getting naked and doing some “Dirty Dancing,” making love in a car or some other unusual place. Be creative, ask for what you want. Take this opportunity to be daring and move beyond your comfort zone while honoring your partner’s boundaries. Don’t insist that they do something they aren’t ready or willing to do. When this ritual is done with a playful and open heart it can be a great way to revitalize and enhance your relationship.

Tantra recognizes that everything is alive and connected. It embraces all areas of life as a path to awakening, including sexuality. Sex is seen as a doorway to the Divine. By bringing conscious awareness into this practice we can enhance our connection to our beloved and help make the world a better place to live. The Pleasure Game is one way to reignite the passion in your relationship. Taking time to connect in a special way with your beloved goes a long way toward creating a happy, healthy relationship.

Crystal Dawn Morris, is a Certified SkyDancing Tantra Teacher and the founder of Tantra for Awakening. Her classes, workshops and coaching sessions give people practical tools for creating an ecstatic life. She offers workshops and coaching sessions to individuals and couples in the USA and Canada. She also teaches a 9-month course for those who want to teach Tantra to others. You can read her blog at www.TantraGal.Blogspot.com. To learn more go to, www.TantraForAwakening.com.
© Copyright 2009 Crystal Dawn Morris

Tantra Tip of the Day- Have a Love Affair

When you fall in love, suddenly you feel so good. You walk around with your heart open, smiling at complete strangers, feeling generous, happy and alive. You want the whole world to feel the love you are experiencing. The reason you feel this way because you are completely open to love and have let go of any resistance to what is. The object of your love has allowed you to know your true nature as Love.

Instead of falling in love with a person who eventually will disappoint you by being human, what would it be like to fall in love with your life? Having a love affair with your life is to being present in each moment and witnessing the miracle of life unfolding before you. It is appreciating all that you receive as a gift, without judging it.

Try this: Today, have a love affair with life. Can you remember the last time you fell in love? How did you feel? What did you do to express your joy? Take in the beauty all around you, buy yourself flowers, take a friend to lunch and tell them you are in love. Write a love poem about your life. What do you notice, when your life becomes your beloved?

C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.
www.TantraForAwakening.com
www.TantraGal.Blogspot.com