Tantra Helps You Stay Juicy After Menopause

Menopause can affect a woman’s health, sexuality and vitality in a variety of ways. SkyDancing Tantra practices can be helpful in keeping you juicy and sexually vibrant throughout the perimenopausal process and throughout menopause. Some of the symptoms I found that respond positively to Tantra include moodiness, vaginal dryness, decreased libido, dysparunia (pain with intercourse), and problems reaching orgasm.

As you enter perimenopause (this can begin up to 10 years prior to the onset on menpopause) you may notice changes in your libido, moods, and physical body. For some woman the change is gradual and for others it may create a number of challenges. While SkyDancing my not be able to address all the issues that may arise in menopause I found the following practices to be very helpful in addressing many common problems.

Chakra Talk
The seven major chakras are energy centers chakras along the length of the spine. They are associated with the endocrine system which mediates the hormones. Chakra Talk is a great way to connect to your “inner guidance system”. Menopause affects the entire body and by tuning into a particular chakra you can gather information and guidance on how to support your body as you go through menopause. This practice can be done alone or with a partner who can hold space, listen and take notes for you.

Close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply until you begin to relax. Then, focus your attention inward and see which chakra desires to speak. Next, consciously connect with your chakra and invite it to speak through you. Make sure that it speaks in first person (e.g. “I, Heart, desire more time for day dreaming.” as opposed to “My heart says she wants to spend more time day dreaming.”). Allow yourself to listen deeply to what your chakras wisdom. There may be pauses as you tune in and listen. Continue until you perceive it has completed its communication. You can learn more about your chakras and how to communicate with them in The Art of Everyday Ecstasy by Margot Anand.

Opening the Inner Flute
I recommend doing this daily. This practice moves energy through all the chakras enhancing your sense of wellbeing and physical vitality. You can also do this practice prior to making love and /or incorporate it into your love making.

Here are 7 steps to opening your “Inner Flute.”

1) Stand with your knees hip width apart and slightly bent.

2) Breathe through your mouth and into the belly, allowing it to expand.

3) Increase the energy by breathing in as if you are sipping through straw.

4) Allow your pelvis to rotate freely, keeping the knees bent. As you inhale rock the hips back, creating an arch in the back. As you exhale, tuck the tail bone under, flattening the back.

5) Add the PC pump. As you inhale squeeze the pelvic floor muscles pulling them upwards and as you exhale let them relax.

6) Put all the steps together. As you inhale imagine you are breathing the energy up from your root to your heart. Practice this until you feel the energy pulsing from your root to your heart. You can play with speeding up and slowing down your respiratory rate.

7) Once you have mastered connecting root and heart move the energy to the crown. Practice until you can feel the energy flowing from your root to your crown. See yourself as a rainbow bridge of light connecting Earth and Sky.

Self Pleasuring
Because menopause may affect your libido and sexual response it is very helpful to self pleasure regularly. Self pleasuring is a wonderful way for you to explore your body and sexual energy. It gives you time to discover how your needs are changing. You can take time to love your body and tune into the messages it is giving to you. It is an opportunity to learn what excites you without being concerned about your partner. Self pleasuring is not just about touching your yoni (genitals) it is about connecting to your whole body and becoming aware of its needs and desires. Experiment with different types of touch, pressure, speed and erogenous zones.

I recommend self-pleasure regularly. As you pleasure yourself stay open and present. Take this time to give yourself love and to tune in and listen to what is going on in your body. What messages does it have for you? Notice what feels good in enough detail that you could tell a lover how to do it in the same way.

“The Change” is often a process of rediscovering who you are and coming into a new relationship with yourself. This can also effect how you connect to your beloved. Self pleasuring can be an empowering way to gather information so you can communicate to your lover about how you like to be loved. This is a great way to deepen intimacy and increase the likelihood of being touched in the way that most pleases you.

Menopause is a time of change. It can be challenging for some women and empowering for others. It gives you an opportunity to connect to your body-wisdom in a new way. The practices of SkyDancing Tantra can be helpful in supporting you on your journey. Please feel free to contact me if you have questions or would like information about my forth coming book called Awakening Your Inner Goddess, How to be a Juicy Woman in 30 Days or Less.

Copyright 2010 Crystal Dawn Morris

Crystal Dawn Morris is a Certified Sky Dancing Tantra Teacher and the founder of Tantra for Awakening. She is committed to helping people integrate Tantra into every aspect of their lives through her workshops, coaching sessions and blog. Crystal is a Certified Nurse-Midwife and has been involved in women’s health since 1984.

Women, Orgasms and the 3-Part Communication

The best way for a woman to expand her orgasmic potential is by getting to know her own body. Self-pleasuring (commonly called “masturbation”) is a way of finding a deeper connection to your own life-force energy, which is the power of creation that flows through all of life. It can even be a spiritual practice when it is done with Presence, awe and reverence. Through self-pleasuring, a woman can learn to expand her awareness and capacity for Bliss.

Self-pleasuring allows you time to discover what excites you without being concerned about pleasing your partner. You get to experiment with different types of touch, pressure, speed and find new erogenous zones. I recommend self-pleasuring several times this week. Take your time and connect deeply with yourself. Let your inner body-wisdom guide you. As you touch yourself, stay present to where the energy flows. Allow your sessions to be an adventure in self-discovery.

Notice if any resistance comes up around self- pleasuring. If it does, ask yourself these questions: What is my relationship to pleasure? Do I make time for it in my life? How often? Do I find reasons for not giving myself pleasure? If you are in a habit of limiting the amount of pleasure in your life, explore what old beliefs you have about pleasure, sex, and masturbation. You may be harboring sexual shame or guilt. You may feel that spending time on yourself is wasteful or selfish. Now is a good time to reframe those beliefs by restating them in ways that are sex and pleasure-positive.

Once you have explored the nuances of pleasuring yourself and feel confident in your ability to bring yourself to orgasm, you may want to share this wisdom with your lover. Learning to share how you like to be loved is a great way to deepen intimacy with your partner and increases the likelihood of being touched in ways that most arouse and satisfy you. This requires an important communication skill, called the “3-Part Communication.”

The 3-Part Communication

1) Acknowledge the person for something they are doing well: “I love it when you caress me back.” or “Thank you for being willing to spend this time with me.”

2) Ask for what you want: “What would feel even better to me in this moment is for you to touch me even more slowly.”

3) Appreciate and acknowledge the change: ” Oh yes. That feels so good! You are doing it just right.” This communication style will dramatically increase the likelihood of being touched in a way that pleases you and makes your lover feel good too.

As you take personal responsibility for your desires being met, you will be want to release old beliefs that no longer serve you such as, “It’s my lover’s job to magically figure out what turns me on.” These kinds of ideas lead to feelings of being hurt and/or disappointed. Instead, recognize you are the generator of your orgasms. By learning what turns you on and asking for what feels good in the moment, you can expand your capacity for ecstasy.

Expanding your orgasm through the practice of self-pleasuring and expressing your sexual desires adds a whole new dimension to your lovemaking. It is a great way to increase self-awareness and expand your capacity for Bliss. It also adds juiciness to your sexual relationships. Enjoy!

(c)Copyright 2010 Crystal Dawn Morris Sedona, AZ