Tantra Tip of the Day- Heart Wisdom

In the west, we equate intelligence with the brain and the mind, with thinking. Consequently, we spend much of our time stuck in our heads.  Indigenous cultures value the intelligence that comes from the heart as more important than intellect. We could call this the heart-mind. Research is beginning to reveal that the heart has its own intelligence. The brain receives important information from the heart and responds to it. In the past we have considered the heart just a hard working muscle that pumps blood. Actually it is a sensitive organ that gathers and processes vital information in 4 important ways.

Biochemically– The heart produces a hormone called, ANF. That helps to keep the body in balance. ANF regulates blood pressure, edema and the electrolytes and affects the blood vessels, kidneys, adrenal glands and other regulatory parts of the brain. ANF also modulates stress hormones and supports the reproductive and immune system.

Biophysically– As it beats the heart creates a powerful blood pressure wave that travels rapidly throughout the body, much faster than the actual flow of blood. This is what we feel as out pulse.

Energetically– The heart emanates an electromagnetic field that is approximately five thousand times more powerful than the field produced by the brain. This field affects every part of our body and is broadcasted beyond our physical body.

Neurologically– Every time the heart beats, neural activity is sent to the brain. The heart has the ability to monitor hormonal, rate and pressure information, and translates it into neurological impulses, processes it and sends information back to the brain through the Vagus nerve and spinal cord.

The heart has its own intelligence and effects how we think and feel. Our heart is more than a pump it is a center of awareness that sends information to the brain and the body. It is important that we keep an open heart and listen to our heart’s wisdom. When we live from the heart instead of from the mind we are able to be more present, centered and connected to life.

Heart Wisdom Meditation

Lie down in a quiet place and take some deep breaths into your belly. Let everything go outside of this moment. Place your hands over your heart and begin to focus your awareness on the center of your chest, this is your heart center. Notice what arises. Is your heart open, closed or somewhere in between. If your heart feels tight breathe into it and allow it to begin to relax and open. Then begin to generate a feeling of love and compassion. You can do this by thinking of someone or something you love deeply. Allow this feeling of love to fill your heart center and gradually spread throughout your entire body. Once you are aware of being full of love, allow love to heal and harmonize your body, mind, and emotions. When you feel ready, send this love out to others- those you love, the Earth, or to someone in need. End by offering gratitude for your life and for the opportunity to connect with your heart. Please share this practice with a friend.

The Five Love Languages and How to Use Them

People give and receive love in different ways. Our tendency is to give love the way that we like receive love. However, if your love language is not the same as your beloved’s you may feel like you are constantly giving to them and they may complain that they don’t feel you loving them. It’s as if you are speaking to them in English and they only understand French. When love is not communicated effectively this can create feelings of confusion, anger and frustration. There is a simple solution to this dilemma. Learn to speak the five languages of love. Then figure out which languages you and your partner respond to. Once you know their preferred language you can speak to them in the language they understand. Then teach them your preferred languages so you can receive love in a way that nourishes you as well.

The Five Languages of Love Are:

Words of Affirmation– Some people want to feel seen and appreciated for who they are and what they do through words of acknowledgement. They need to hear you tell them, on a regular basis, that you like their new haircut, enjoyed the meal they cooked for you, noticed they took out the trash, weeded the yard or emptied the dishwasher. Your words are a powerful resource for them to feel loved and valued. In the bedroom tell them how much you love the glow of their skin, the way he/she makes you quiver, how their touch drives you wild.

Quality Time– For others words don’t mean as much as spending time together. These folks want to feel connected through mutual activities. They need to feel your undivided attention on them and what you are doing together. They want time together to be a priority. These people enjoy date night, a planned activity that brings you together and where you focus on each other exclusively. In the bedroom this means setting aside a special time or even a whole day for love.

Gifts– Most people enjoy gifts but for some people this is the primary way they feel loved. This doesn’t mean they need expensive gifts. In fact, they often prefer sweet or silly gifts given spontaneously, for no reason at all. This type may feel hurt if you don’t give them a gift on their birthday or anniversary. Gifts are experienced as an expression of your love for them. In the bedroom this could take the form of a flower, a card, or a small expression of your love hidden under their pillow.

Acts of Service– Some people feel loved by what you do for them. These could be everyday things like folding the laundry or bringing home a pizza for dinner. They could be big things like taking them away on a romantic holiday or remodeling the house. Your actions speak louder than words. When you do things for them they want or need done they feel loved by you. In the bedroom this could be cleaning up the bedroom before making love. It could also be a lovemaking session when you only give to them.

Physical Touch– Many people respond most to loving touch. They want to hug, kiss, hold hands, be massaged, or snuggled up with you on the sofa. Just a simple arm around them as you walk down the street or reaching across the table and touching their hand will allow them to feel your love through the act of physical connection. In the bedroom this could mean offering massage as a part of foreplay.

What is Your Primary Love Language?

Here are three steps that can help you to figure out the way you most like to be loved. Commonly, we give love in the same way we enjoy receiving it. So one way to learn how we like to be loved is by noticing how we give love to others. Often, we complain to our partner about a need we feel is not being met. What are your common complaints about ways you are not getting the love you want? What requests do you make so you will feel loved? How do you most like to be loved in the bedroom (sexually)?

It is also helpful to increase your awareness of how you give and receive in all your interactions. When you recognize how people like to be loved it is easy to give people what they want in ways that make them feel good. It is helpful to share this information with your beloved and also with friends and family so that they can be more aware and give love to each other in ways it are mutually beneficial.

Sometimes, learning to speak a new love language is challenging. It may feel awkward or forced at first. Recognize that you are learning a new way of communicating and just like learning a foreign language it will take time and practice to get good at speaking in a new way that is foreign to you. In the bedroom you may feel uncomfortable giving love in ways you haven’t before. Look at this as an adventure and enjoy the process. Also learn to surrender and allow yourself to be loved in new and delightful ways.

This article is based on the book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, By Gary Demonte Chapman if you want to learn more, I recommend reading it.

Crystal Dawn Morris is an intimacy coach. She does couples coaching in person or over the phone. She offers tools and practices that help you improve your relationships in the areas of love, intimacy and sexuality. Crystal also offers couple retreats for reigniting passion.

Ho' oponopono, "To make right"

Ho’ oponopono is a practice from the Huna tradition of Hawaii. Essentially, it means to make things right with your ancestors and the other people with whom you have relationships. The original purpose of Ho’oponopono was to correct the wrongs that had occurred in one’s life including: Hala- to miss the thing aimed for, or to err, to disobey and Hewa- to go overboard or to do something to excess which were illusions, and ‘Ino- to do harm, implying to do harm to someone with hate in mind, even if accidental.

A simple way to practice this is to repeat this mantra:
I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank You.

Here is a more elaborate practice that is especially helpful when dealing with difficult emotions like, anger, hate and fear. Ho’oponopono helps to clean up all our relationships with other people in our lives. Inside us we carry all the significant people in our lives. Doing Ho’oponopono allows us to clean and heal what no longer serves our highest good.

1. Bring to mind anyone with whom you do not feel total alignment or support, etc.
2. In your mind’s eye, construct a small stage below you.
3. Imagine an infinite source of love and healing flowing from a source above the top of your head (from your Higher Self), and open up the top of your head, and let the source of love and healing flow down inside your body, fill up the body, and overflow out your heart to heal up the person on the stage. Be sure it is all right for you to heal the person and that they accept the healing.
4. When the healing is complete, have a discussion with the person and forgive them, and have them forgive you.
5. Next, let go of the person, and see them floating away. As they do, cut the aka cord that connects the two of you (if appropriate). If you are healing in a current primary relationship, then assimilate the person inside you.
6. Do this with every person in your life with whom you are incomplete, or not aligned. The final test is, can you see the person or think of them without feeling any negative emotions. If you do feel negative emotions when you do, then do the process again.

I hope you find this a helpful practice.


Tantra Tip of the Day – Passionate Living

What is your relationship to passion? Today, take some time to explore you relationship to passion and ways you can cultivate it in your life and in your relationships.

Tantra Tip of the Day- Love Feeds the Soul


MAN NEEDS TO BE NEEDED. It is one of the most fundamental needs of human beings. Unless one is cared for, one starts dying. Unless one feels that he is significant to somebody — at least to somebody — his whole life becomes insignificant. Hence, LOVE IS THE GREATEST THERAPY THERE IS. The world needs therapy because the world is missing love. IN A REALLY LOVING WORLD, NO THERAPY WILL BE NEEDED AT ALL; love will be enough, more than enough.

HUGGING IS ONLY A GESTURE OF LOVE, OF WARMTH, OF CARING. The very feel of the warmth flowing from the other person melts many illnesses in you, melts the ice-like cold ego. It makes you a child again. Psychologists are well aware of the fact now that unless a child is hugged, kissed, he misses some nourishment. JUST AS THE BODY NEEDS FOOD, THE SOUL NEEDS LOVE. You can give the child all the physical needs, all the physical comforts — but if hugging is missing, the
child will not grow into a wholesome being; he will remain somewhere deep down sad, uncared for, neglected, ignored. He was nursed, but he
was not mothered.

It has been observed that if a child is not hugged, he starts
shrinking, he can even die. Although everything else was provided for– as far as the body is concerned every care was taken – – but if no love surrounded the child, he becomes isolated, he becomes disconnected from existence. LOVE IS OUR CONNECTION, LOVE IS OUR VERY ROOT. Just as you breathe… for the body it is absolutely essential — stop breathing and you are no more — in the same way love is the inner breath. THE SOUL LIVES BY LOVING.

Analysis won’t do it, wit and clarity, knowledge and scholarship won’t do it. You can know all there is to know about therapy — you can become an expert — but if you don’t know the art of love, you remain
only on the surface of the miracle of therapy. The moment you start feeling for the patient, for the one who is suffering… OUT OF A HUNDRED CASES, NINETY PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT BEEN LOVED… If you start feeling the need for love of the patient, and if
you can fulfill the need, there will be an almost magical change in the condition of the patient.


HUGGING IS ONLY A GESTURE OF ONENESS. EVEN THE GESTURE HELPS! And if the hug is authentic and true — not just a gesture, but your heart is also in it — it can be a magical tool, it can be a miracle, it can transform the whole situation instantly. Hugging gives you an immediate contact with the child within. If you hug somebody with warmth, with love — if it is not just an impotent gesture — if it is meaningful, significant. .. If your heart is flowing through it,immediately you come in contact with the child, with the innocent child. And to contact that innocent child is therapeutic.

And the innocent child, surfacing even for a single moment, makes a tremendous difference — because the innocence of the child is always healthy and whole, uncorrupted. You have reached to the innermost core
of the person, where no corruption has ever entered. You have reached to the virgin core. AND JUST MAKING THE VIRGIN CORE THROB AGAIN WITH LIFE IS ENOUGH. You have started, you have triggered a process of healing.

The Wild Geese and the Water
Ch #4: Soul: Living by loving
am in Buddha Hall

Tantra Tip of the Day -Live From the Heart

In Sky Dancing Tantra we begin and end every practice with the Heart Salutation. It is a way of calling ourselves present and entering sacred time.

When your heart is open, It is easy to feel connected. Love natural flows out into the world. The open-heart loves fearlessly.

The Heart Salutation

Extend your arms towards the earth, palms together. Inhale, as you bring them to your heart while keeping your palms together. Exhale, as you bow forward and acknowledge the Divine in with the Sanskrit salutation Namaste. “Namaste” means, “I see the Divine in you as a reflection of the Divine within me.” In this example you are acknowledging the world as a mirror for seeing the Divine within yourself. Inhale, as you straighten back up. Finally, exhale as you allow your hands to return to the starting position, pointed towards the earth.

Bring your palms together pointing to the earth, inhale up to your heart.
Bow and acknowledge the Divine in each other, as you exhale. You may choose to use the Sanskrit salutation Namaste. “Namaste” means, “I see the Divine in you as a reflection of the Divine within me.” Inhale back to your own heart.
Then exhale the heart energy back down to the earth.

Place your hands over your heart. Become aware of your heart center and breathe into it for a few minutes. Gradually begin to relax and open as you breathe into the center of your chest. Notice if your heart is open, closed or somewhere in between. Close your eyes and think of someone or something you love deeply and become aware f yourself as Love. recognizing that love is something you are not something you do. When you are ready open your eyes. How do you feel? Does the world seem different?

(C) Copyright 2010, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

Hugs and Kisses Slash Stress

by Frances Amaroux www.lovecoaching.com

From the hallowed halls of science comes another excuse to get close: New research shows that hugs and kisses slash stress. Loving touches — and the resulting gush of good feelings — can cut the level of stress hormones coursing through your body by 7 percent, according to a recent study in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine. Anything from sex to holding hands can do the trick. You get calmer every minute you’re in contact. So go ahead: pop in a movie and spend the evening snuggling on the couch. You’ll be healthier for it.

The stress-snuggle connection was put to the test by Beate Ditzen, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Zurich in Switzerland who studied 51 couples for a week, asking them to record their activities and take saliva samples every three hours. The samples were analyzed for levels of the stress hormone cortisol. The results: “Intimacy reduced cortisol levels by improving mood,” says Dr. Ditzen.

A Daily Dose

Every minute spent hugging, kissing, holding hands or having sex translated into a small decrease in stress. Every touch had the same power to soothe. In other words, the 20th hug or kiss worked just as well as the first, and 20 hugs generated 20 times as much stress relief as a single snuggle. Unfortunately, you can’t bank the benefits. Extra physical intimacy today won’t reduce your stress levels later this week. You’ve got to be “in touch” every day.

The benefits of loving touch do stick beyond the front door, however. Work-related stress doesn’t stand a chance if you’ve gotten a good dose of closeness, the researchers learned. Sure, a hug can erase the tension of a tough day on the job. But more than that, intimacy actually protects you from feeling work stress at all, whether you have a crummy office, bad manager, long hours, deadline pressure, interruptions or other job woes. So if the day looks like it has challenges ahead, make a date for a little kissing before or after work, or maybe even sneak some in at lunch.

Happily Ever After
The de-stressing effects of sex and snuggles may explain why happily married couples live longer and healthier lives. Studies have already proven that loving touch can reduce blood pressure and have other health benefits. Scientists have a number of theories about why intimacy is relaxing. For example, a hug can bring on a gush of the love hormone oxytocin, which floods the body and feels great.

Angry hugs don’t work, which might explain why unhappily married couples don’t live any longer than singles. Negative emotions seem to ruin the health benefits and de-stressing effect. So if you want to live happily ever after (and make it last), hold out for someone who makes you feel great.

Try This at Home
If you don’t have a mate handy for hugs, try getting the benefits from friends and family. While the couples in this study were all dual-income with kids, the researchers did not evaluate whether hugs and kisses from children, parents, friends or others might be just as good at scaring off stress. Other studies have linked friendship with good health, longevity and less stress. And Dr. Ditzen agrees that snuggling up to anyone who feels yummy might reduce stress levels.


Remember You’ve Got Friend- You Tube

Tantra is about community and connection. It is about recognizing separation is an illusion and that we are truly all one breath and one heart. This song is one of my favorites! It is a great reminder to open are hearts and share the love! I want to thank my friend, Zannie, for sharing this You Tube with me.

Riding the Wave of Bliss- An Erotic Poem

By Crystal Dawn Morris

Moon grows bright,
Celebrate naked by firelight.

Open up heart strings,
Remember the way joy sings.

Entice a man with your feminine charms,
Melt into his strong, loving arms.

Be brave, Ride the wave,
Dance to Rock, Suck his cock.

Laugh till you cry,
Never lie.

Merge into the deep blue sky and
Disappear into Buddha’s Eye.

Written February 12, 2010

(C) Copyright 2010, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

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