Yoni Talk Listens to Your Body’s Wisdom

In Tantra we use ritual names for our genitals. We call the vagina, “Yoni,”which is a Sanskrit word that means cosmic matrix.  It is possible to tap into the wisdom held in this sacred part of the body. This practice allows you to access the wisdom held in your Yoni. You are lending your voice to your Yoni so it can communicate with you directly. The more you are able to relax and surrender to this process the easier it is to access the wisdom of your Yoni and experience its unique voice.This practice can be done alone or with a partner.

Set aside 30-60 minutes for this practice. Make sure the phone is turned off and let other people in your home know not to disturb you for the next hour. This practice can be done alone or with a partner. If done alone have your journal nearby so you can take notes afterwards. You may also choose to record the experience. If done with a partner, only one person speaks and the other acts as a witness. The witness may take notes if that feels appropriate to both parties. The witness should not interrupt the speaker while they are allowing their Yoni to speak.

The Heart Salutation

Begin this practice with a Heart Salutation. This is done by extending your arms towards the earth with your palms together. Then, inhale and keeping your hands in prayer position, bring them to your heart. Exhale, as you bow forward and acknowledge the Divine within yourself and each other. Inhale, as you straighten back up. Finally, exhale as you allow your hands to return to the starting position, pointed towards the earth.

The Bubble

Now, create a bubble around you (and your partner). Do this by waving your arms around both of you as you define the shape of the bubble that surrounds you. You will then be removing things from this bubble that won’t serve you during this practice (the past, distractions, anger, worry, etc.) Do this by making a gesture as if removing an object from your bubble and verbally share what you are removing from the bubble out loud. Then, Next, state what things you want to bring into the bubble, these are things that will enhance your connection (love, willingness, presence, trust etc.) Make a gesture as if physically bringing them into the bubble. Creating the bubble helps to call you into present moment awareness and creates a safe space in which to practice Yoni Talk

Share Your Desires, Fears and Boundaries

Once the bubble is created, share your intentions/desires, fears and boundaries related to this practice. First, one person speaks while the other person listens without judgment or commentary. Then you switch roles. Here is an example:

“I desire to stay present, open and connect deeply my Yoni.”

“My fear is that I will get self-conscious and freeze up.”

“My boundary is to stay connected, to feel what is arising and share even if I start to cry.”

Why boundaries? When I teach this practice in my classes, people often have resistance to setting boundaries. I explain that boundaries are not walls, they are bridges. Bridges helps to bring people together. Intimacy happens when people have healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries allow you to feel safe, stay open and be present. Boundaries are dynamic, so it is important to check-in periodically with yourself to see if your boundaries have changed. If they have changed, update your partner so they can honor your new boundaries. Here are a few examples:

“I need to end this practice by 10 pm.”

“I want to stay present and open to your support. I would like you to remind me to open my eyes if I seem to be disconnecting from you.”

Yoni Talk

Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Take slow, gentle, relaxing breaths into your belly. Relax deeply for about several minutes. As your exhale, breathe out any tension you are holding. As you inhale, breathe in life force energy (pnana/chi/ki) and feel your body becoming energized. Once you are relaxed, focus your attention on your Yoni and place your hands over Yoni. Breathe into Yoni and begin to tune into this part of your body. Ask her what she would like to be called ( Sacred Flower, Cosmic Cave or..) Invite her to speak.Say out loud, something like “Sacred Flower, (use the name she has shared with you,) I desire to receive your wisdom and invite you to speak to me and give you my voice.” Then allow Yoni to speak to you, in the first person, “I,Sacred Flower, want to share that I have been feeling ignored lately. I notice you … I would like…. It would be helpful if…” Continue to tune in for 15 minutes or longer. There may be phases as the information is accessed. Stay present with the process until it feels complete. End with a Heart Salutation.

If you are alone, take time to journal. If you are with a friend, share your experience verbally. Take a short break and then switch roles.

Notice how this experience impacts your life over the next few days and weeks.

Copyright 2012 Crystal Dawn Morris. Adapted from The Art of Sexual Ecstasy by Margot Anand.

Crystal Dawn Morris, The Love and Freedom Coach

Contact Crystal@Tantraforawakening.com 928-282-5483  www.tantraforawakening.com

The Five Love Languages and How to Use Them

People give and receive love in different ways. Our tendency is to give love the way that we like receive love. However, if your love language is not the same as your beloved’s you may feel like you are constantly giving to them and they may complain that they don’t feel you loving them. It’s as if you are speaking to them in English and they only understand French. When love is not communicated effectively this can create feelings of confusion, anger and frustration. There is a simple solution to this dilemma. Learn to speak the five languages of love. Then figure out which languages you and your partner respond to. Once you know their preferred language you can speak to them in the language they understand. Then teach them your preferred languages so you can receive love in a way that nourishes you as well.

The Five Languages of Love Are:

Words of Affirmation– Some people want to feel seen and appreciated for who they are and what they do through words of acknowledgement. They need to hear you tell them, on a regular basis, that you like their new haircut, enjoyed the meal they cooked for you, noticed they took out the trash, weeded the yard or emptied the dishwasher. Your words are a powerful resource for them to feel loved and valued. In the bedroom tell them how much you love the glow of their skin, the way he/she makes you quiver, how their touch drives you wild.

Quality Time– For others words don’t mean as much as spending time together. These folks want to feel connected through mutual activities. They need to feel your undivided attention on them and what you are doing together. They want time together to be a priority. These people enjoy date night, a planned activity that brings you together and where you focus on each other exclusively. In the bedroom this means setting aside a special time or even a whole day for love.

Gifts– Most people enjoy gifts but for some people this is the primary way they feel loved. This doesn’t mean they need expensive gifts. In fact, they often prefer sweet or silly gifts given spontaneously, for no reason at all. This type may feel hurt if you don’t give them a gift on their birthday or anniversary. Gifts are experienced as an expression of your love for them. In the bedroom this could take the form of a flower, a card, or a small expression of your love hidden under their pillow.

Acts of Service– Some people feel loved by what you do for them. These could be everyday things like folding the laundry or bringing home a pizza for dinner. They could be big things like taking them away on a romantic holiday or remodeling the house. Your actions speak louder than words. When you do things for them they want or need done they feel loved by you. In the bedroom this could be cleaning up the bedroom before making love. It could also be a lovemaking session when you only give to them.

Physical Touch– Many people respond most to loving touch. They want to hug, kiss, hold hands, be massaged, or snuggled up with you on the sofa. Just a simple arm around them as you walk down the street or reaching across the table and touching their hand will allow them to feel your love through the act of physical connection. In the bedroom this could mean offering massage as a part of foreplay.

What is Your Primary Love Language?

Here are three steps that can help you to figure out the way you most like to be loved. Commonly, we give love in the same way we enjoy receiving it. So one way to learn how we like to be loved is by noticing how we give love to others. Often, we complain to our partner about a need we feel is not being met. What are your common complaints about ways you are not getting the love you want? What requests do you make so you will feel loved? How do you most like to be loved in the bedroom (sexually)?

It is also helpful to increase your awareness of how you give and receive in all your interactions. When you recognize how people like to be loved it is easy to give people what they want in ways that make them feel good. It is helpful to share this information with your beloved and also with friends and family so that they can be more aware and give love to each other in ways it are mutually beneficial.

Sometimes, learning to speak a new love language is challenging. It may feel awkward or forced at first. Recognize that you are learning a new way of communicating and just like learning a foreign language it will take time and practice to get good at speaking in a new way that is foreign to you. In the bedroom you may feel uncomfortable giving love in ways you haven’t before. Look at this as an adventure and enjoy the process. Also learn to surrender and allow yourself to be loved in new and delightful ways.

This article is based on the book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, By Gary Demonte Chapman if you want to learn more, I recommend reading it.

Crystal Dawn Morris is an intimacy coach. She does couples coaching in person or over the phone. She offers tools and practices that help you improve your relationships in the areas of love, intimacy and sexuality. Crystal also offers couple retreats for reigniting passion.

Tantra Tip of the Day – Feeling into Your Heart

The heart has its own intelligence and wisdom. It radiates a field of electromagnetic energy that can be measured up to 10 feet from the body.

When was the last time you really listened to your heart? I recommend making this a daily practice. Place your hands on your heart, be still, breathe deeply into your heart center and listen. Listen not only with the ears but with you whole being. See what you discover. Try this everyday for a week. How is your life different when you listen to your heart?

Original Art by Paul Heussenstamm www.Mandalas.com
(C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

Tantra Tip of the Day – Listen to Silence

Original Art by Paul Heussenstamm,

“All that you need is just to be silent and listen to existence. There is no need of any religion, there is no need of any God, there is no need of any priesthood, there is no need of any organization. I trust in the individual categorically. Nobody up to now has trusted in the individual in such a way, so all those things can be removed. Now all that is left to you is a state of meditation which simply means a state of utter silence. Even the word meditation makes it look heavier. It is better to just call it a simple, innocent silence.” Osho

Try this today: See if you can hear the silence in the world. Listen for it in the space between words, notice it in the space between thoughts, celebrate the spaciousness that surrounds all activity.

C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

Tantra Tip of the Day – Let Your Heart Speak

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Your heart has its own intelligence. It naturally communicates to you through your emotional guidance system, that feeling you get, when something “just feels right.” Some people are tuned into their hearts, while others may routinely override their heart’s guidance.

This simple exercise is a great way to have direct communication to your heart’s wisdom.

Try this: Lay down in a place where you will not be disturbed for at least 30 minutes. Breathe slowly and deeply into your belly until you begin to relax. Then focus you’re attention on your heart and begin breathing into it. Notice what images, sensations and thoughts arise. Then consciously connect with your heart and invite it to speak and share its wisdom with you. Let it use your voice to speak to aloud you. Record or write down what you discover. Make sure the heart speaks in first person. Example: I, (heart,) desire more time in warm water. Not, my heart says she wants to spend more time in warm water. Allow yourself to connect deeply with your heart and listen to what it has to say. There may be pauses as you tune in and listen, continue for 5-10 minutes or until you feel complete. At the end thank your heart for sharing it wisdom.

You can learn more about how to communicate with your chakras in The Art of Everyday Ecstasy by Margot Anand.

C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.