Tantra Tip of the Day- Healing the Emotional Body

Healing the emotional body is essential if you are going to live in the present moment with an open heart. Our culture generally judges the “negative emotions,” like anger, fear, sadness and grief. These emotions don’t look pretty and make other people feel uncomfortable. Because we receive this message as children we tend to suppress or deny these emotions by sweeping them under the rug. Our hope is that they will go away, instead, they become unconscious. They live outside our awareness and often run our lives. When we are triggered, out of no where they suddenly overwhelm us; we lash out in anger, withdraw in fear, become depressed, get sick or create a drama. Does this sound familiar?

Learning how to express and release your emotions allows you to heal your emotional baggage, become emotionally aware and stay emotionally current. It is important to begin by stating your intention is for your optimal healing and integration at the soul level and that in the process of this expression you will not hurt yourself, or anyone or anything else. Seven ways of expressing and releasing your emotions include; screaming silently into our hand, power stomping, pillow screaming, pillow hitting, pelvic thrusting, ritual wailing and tantrum-ing. There is also a practice called “Aspecting” which allows you to dialog with the person, situation or internal process you are releasing so you can clear and understand both aspects of the situation. Read more about these tools in Sacred Sexual Healing- The Shaman Method of Sex Magic by Baba Dez Nichols and Kamamla Devi.

Staying Emotionally Current

The beauty of this work is that it allows you to heal the past and reclaim your power. Emotions are life force energy. When they are denied you feel numb, depleted and/or disconnected. As you learn how to process your feelings you begin to feel more alive, aware, and present. By healing the emotional body you reclaim your birthrite as an ecstatic being. By using these tools you can let go of the past and become emotionally current. You process emotions as they arise. In order to be an effective sexual healer you need to heal your own emotional wounds and you need to be comfortable helping others traverse their emotional terrain.

Choosing to Live from Love or Choosing to Live from Fear

Love is our natural state and true nature. As children we live in the “Field of Love,” not as a concept, as our way of being. Slowly, we begin to receive the message that it is not OK for us to Be Love. We share our Love innocently and someone explores in anger. We don’t understand what happened, we might even run away and cry, but in a few minutes we are back Being Love and loving life.

As we grow older people tells us the world is a dangerous place. There are bad people. It is not good to talk to strangers. We gradually begin to feel Fear more often than Love. Our heart becomes guarded. We begin to hide our true face and try to fit into the fear-based world. The separation begins and we loose our joy, our playfulness, our natural way of being. We begin living only as a small part of who we are. We put on a mask and try to fit in.

Then one day we meet someone and “fall in love.” In that moment we remember who we are, we experience being whole, Being Love. The mistake we make is that we assume it is the other person’s Love that made us feel whole again, instead of recognizing that that we are Love, we are whole, that is who we have always been. We don’t realize that it is by giving Love unconditionally (i.e. without Fear), that we awaken and remember our true nature as Love.

For awhile we enjoy living in the “Field of Love” again. We enjoy having someone to share it Love with. We are once again like children in the garden. We are loving, joyful and innocent human beings. The mask comes off, we feel free to be who we truly are.

Gradually, people around us want us to define our feeling for the other. They want us to label our relationship, so they can put a check in a box by our name. With the labels come beliefs, ideas and responsibilities. Suddenly, expectations arise and with expectations come disappointments. We begin to notice things we want to change about our lover. We start to feel that they don’t like us the way we are and they want us to change. We don’t feel as happy as we used too. Due to the mistake at the beginning of the relationship that they had the power to create our happiness and make us feel loved, we now begin to blame them for our unhappiness and lack of feeling loved.

This is when the Fear begins to take over again. Can he/she make me happy? Am I making a mistake? Then the denial begins. “It is not really a problem that I want to go out on Saturday night to dance and he wants me to stay home and watch TV with him. I am sure I can change him.” We then begin living a lie. We get lost in our wants and desires and start trying the control the other instead of loving who they are.

We are now doomed to a life of struggle because we are no longer giving unconditional Love, instead we are living out of Fear. The Fear comes from a belief that I am not enough, expectations that I will be loved only if I perform in a certain way and the need to control the other, so I can feel safe. This is most people’s experience of romantic relationship. Until we are able to shift out of these patterns of Fear l we are going to keep repeating the same story.

In order to shift into a world based on Love we need to develop Self-Awareness and Self- Love. Self-Awareness is the ability to feel when the heart begins to close, to notice your need to control others so you feel safe, to be able to see when judgment arises, and to develop acceptance, compassion and equanimity. Self-Love comes from being able to see yourself, be honest with yourself and loving yourself, as you are, in each moment, even when you don’t necessarily like how you are behaving. You can only love another unconditionally, when you know how to love yourself unconditionally.

Self-awareness and self-love are life-long practices. As you begin to gain mastery in them it becomes easier to notice and express in the moment what you are experiencing. This helps you to be present and take full responsibility for the choices you make and the life you are creating. There is no blame others. You are able to recognize you are Love and it becomes easier to give Love unconditionally without the expectation of getting something in return. Then you begin to live a life based on Love instead of Fear.

(C) Copyright 2010, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

If this article interests you I recommend reading The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz

Tantra Tip of the Day- Transforming the Shadow into an Ally

The Shadow is the disowned parts of our selves. They may be gods, fears or demons, things we worship or things we fear. When we are able to transform our shadow into an ally we can access a vast amount of energy that can then be used in positive ways in our lives.

I have been fascinated by the power of reclaiming the shadow for many years. Shortly after 9/11/2000, I spent several months working both personally and globally healing the shadow that was being projected in the media as an, us and a them. This work changed my life, teaching me tolerance, compassion and self-acceptance.

I recently discovered a great book that shares a healing method that has many of the qualities I discovered as I was doing this work. I was surprised to learn that it is based on an ancient Buddhist practice called Chod. The book is called Feeding Your Demons by Tsultrim Allione. She has taken the essence of the Chod practice and simplified it for our modern secular culture. She has developed a simple 5 step process that allows you to explore a god or demon, as she calls them, by communicate with it, embodying it and feeding it what it needs to be healed and transformed. I highly recommend this book. Sounds True has an audio version called Cutting Through Fear, in which she explains the process and also guides you through it.

Here is an article about the practice. https://www.tricycle.com/-practice/feeding-your-demons
Here is the link to the CD. https://www.amazon.com/Cutting-Through-Fear-Tsultrim-Allione/dp/159179403X
Here is the link to the book. https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Your-Demons-Resolving-Conflict/dp/0316013137/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b

Tantra Tip of the Day- Surrendering Control

I had a great time teaching in Toronto, Canada in July. On returning to Sedona I found myself needing to go inward. This process kept me off the computer and somewhat disengaged from the world. My mind kept saying, “get to work” and I knew I needed to not do and instead to be. It is a challenge to be in a doing world. I just had to let go, surrender control and trust the process.

I spent a week just letting go of doing and becoming empty. Then I was able to go deeper into myself and look at my own Tantric practice and to take time to connect more deeply with my inner teachers. I re-read Passionate Enlightenment : Women in Tantric Buddhism by Miranda Shaw, a book I first read 6 years ago. I highly recommend this book, especially to women new to Tantra. It is full of wonderful stories about the women who taught the men, who are credited with creating the Tantric Buddhist traditions. Reading it reconnected me with the deeper truth of Tantra, which is about waking up from the delusion, called life that most of us take so seriously.

One of my biggest challenges is how to “be in the world but not of it.” When I start focusing more on business, making money and being successful than on being present in the Now, I begin to believe in the world of delusion and start to loose my way. Spacious awareness is reality not the thoughts in my head or the Dow-Jones Industrial average. Surrendering control allowed me to empty out and be refilled and brought me back home to the spacious awareness that I am.

Try this: Notice when your need to control arises. What is the situation? What is the fear? What would happen if you let go? Isn’t control really an illusion created to keep fear at bay? Explore what happens when you surrender control. See what you discover.

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www.TantraForAwakening.com
(C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

Tantra Tip of the Day – Surrender or Suffer


Suffering is the direct result of resisting what is arising in the moment. Surrender is staying open to what is arising in each moment. If you are suffering ask yourself how can of let go of my resistance to this moment. Resistance is often triggered by fear. Ask what am I afraid of? Is this fear real or imagined? Say your fear out loud. I discovered many years ago that when I say my fear out loud it usually is not a real fear but a mind generated fear about some imagines future. If you are suffering let go of resistance and see what happens.

Original Art by Paul Heussenstamm,
www.Mandalas.com

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www.TantraGal.Blogspot.com
(C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

Tantra Tip of the Day – Refections after the Storm

It has been an interesting couple of weeks for me. Doing my taxes and looking at my finances triggered some fear about the future. I found myself stuck in my head trying to figure it out and suffering arose. As I sat with the fears it became clear I had to let go of the story and look at what was creating the suffering. Being stuck in past and future was causing of my suffering.

It is easy so beat yourself up when you judge your past choices based on today’s knowledge. “If only…this. If only…that.” Then the future feels like a minefield of “What ifs….”

“Leaping into the void” took me out of the story. “Being still” took me out of past and future. “Facing into the wind of my suffering” helped me to open to trusting the Now. After a week of being in the not knowing without resistance, I am in a completely different space. I have relaxed and surrendered. I am at peace. My creative juices are starting to flow again. I am excited about the unfolding of my life.

The future is still a mystery. I no longer “need to know what is going to happen” to feel safe. My faith in Source as an abundant field of love is restored. I relax, breathe and appreciate the moment. I see the beauty and abundance all around me. I am open to receiving miracles in my life. I am ready for the opportunities and challenges the Universe is offering me so I can give my gifts and grow. I have learn to appreciate fear is a doorway to peace.

Try this, the next time you find yourself stuck, afraid or contracted, see if you can let go of the story about it. Let go of past and future. Drop into the Now and ask yourself what is the deeper Truth? Be still and allow yourself to open and discover the gift hidden in whatever appears to be creating your suffering. Open and receive the gift and appreciate the opportunity to grow.

Original Art by Paul Heussenstamm,
www.Mandalas.com

www.TantraForAwakening.com
www.TantraGal.Blogspot.com
(C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.

Tantra Tip of the Day – Facing Fear, Finding Freedom

Fear is a monster that can eat us alive. As long as we run from it, hid from it or deny it, fear controls us. Once we turn and face our fear and feel it fully, it quickly loses its power and dissipates like smoke. We discover that our nightmare was just that, a bad dream. By waking up, we see that fear is our mind creating demons from thoughts of past and future. By choosing to face our fears and tell the truth about our situation we arrive in the present moment and discover freedom is just being in the Now, with an open heart.

Are you ready to face your fear and set yourself free? Stop, turn and face the demon that has been chasing you. Look it in the eye and see the truth of the situation. Accept what is so and allow yourself to let go. Enter the spaciousness of this moment and see what you notice?

C)Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.
www.TantraForAwakening.com
www.TantraGal.Blogspot.com