Chakra Talk

This practice allows you to access the wisdom held in your chakra energy centers. You are lending your voice to the center you connect with so you can connect and communicate with it in a direct way, I more you are able to relax and surrender to the experience the easier it is to access the wisdom of your chakras coming through in their unique voice.

Set aside 15-30 minutes for this practice. Make sure the phone is off and that you won’t be disturbed. This can be done alone or with a partner. If done alone have your journal nearby so you can take notes. You may also choose to record the experience. If done with a partner, only one person speaks and the other acts as a witness. They may take notes if that feels appropriate to both parties. The witness should not interrupt the speaker while the chakra is talking.

Begin with a Heart Salutation directing your attention to the chakra you are going to connect with. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Take slow, gentle, relaxing breaths into your belly. Relax deeply for about several minutes. As your exhale, breath out any tension you are holding. As you inhale, breathe in life force energy (pnana/chi/ki) and feel your body being energized.

When you are relaxed focus your attention on the chakra you feel called to connect with. Place your hands over the area related to that particular chakra. Breathe into this chakra and begin to tune into this part of your body and the energy of this chakra. Invite it you speak through you, saying, ( the name of the chakra)

“I, Heart, I desire to receive your wisdom and invite you to speak to me through my voice.”  Allow the chakra to speak to you, in the first person, “I, Heart,want to share that I have been feeling ignored lately. Crystal has been… I would like…. It would be helpful if…” Continue to tune in for 5-10 minutes. There may be phases as the information is accessed. Stay present with the process until it feels complete. End with a Heart Salutation.

Adapted from The Art of Everyday Ecstasy by Margot Anand. This book has a huge amount of information about the chakras and how to communicate with them. You can order it on my resources page.

The Five Love Languages and How to Use Them

People give and receive love in different ways. Our tendency is to give love the way that we like receive love. However, if your love language is not the same as your beloved’s you may feel like you are constantly giving to them and they may complain that they don’t feel you loving them. It’s as if you are speaking to them in English and they only understand French. When love is not communicated effectively this can create feelings of confusion, anger and frustration. There is a simple solution to this dilemma. Learn to speak the five languages of love. Then figure out which languages you and your partner respond to. Once you know their preferred language you can speak to them in the language they understand. Then teach them your preferred languages so you can receive love in a way that nourishes you as well.

The Five Languages of Love Are:

Words of Affirmation– Some people want to feel seen and appreciated for who they are and what they do through words of acknowledgement. They need to hear you tell them, on a regular basis, that you like their new haircut, enjoyed the meal they cooked for you, noticed they took out the trash, weeded the yard or emptied the dishwasher. Your words are a powerful resource for them to feel loved and valued. In the bedroom tell them how much you love the glow of their skin, the way he/she makes you quiver, how their touch drives you wild.

Quality Time– For others words don’t mean as much as spending time together. These folks want to feel connected through mutual activities. They need to feel your undivided attention on them and what you are doing together. They want time together to be a priority. These people enjoy date night, a planned activity that brings you together and where you focus on each other exclusively. In the bedroom this means setting aside a special time or even a whole day for love.

Gifts– Most people enjoy gifts but for some people this is the primary way they feel loved. This doesn’t mean they need expensive gifts. In fact, they often prefer sweet or silly gifts given spontaneously, for no reason at all. This type may feel hurt if you don’t give them a gift on their birthday or anniversary. Gifts are experienced as an expression of your love for them. In the bedroom this could take the form of a flower, a card, or a small expression of your love hidden under their pillow.

Acts of Service– Some people feel loved by what you do for them. These could be everyday things like folding the laundry or bringing home a pizza for dinner. They could be big things like taking them away on a romantic holiday or remodeling the house. Your actions speak louder than words. When you do things for them they want or need done they feel loved by you. In the bedroom this could be cleaning up the bedroom before making love. It could also be a lovemaking session when you only give to them.

Physical Touch– Many people respond most to loving touch. They want to hug, kiss, hold hands, be massaged, or snuggled up with you on the sofa. Just a simple arm around them as you walk down the street or reaching across the table and touching their hand will allow them to feel your love through the act of physical connection. In the bedroom this could mean offering massage as a part of foreplay.

What is Your Primary Love Language?

Here are three steps that can help you to figure out the way you most like to be loved. Commonly, we give love in the same way we enjoy receiving it. So one way to learn how we like to be loved is by noticing how we give love to others. Often, we complain to our partner about a need we feel is not being met. What are your common complaints about ways you are not getting the love you want? What requests do you make so you will feel loved? How do you most like to be loved in the bedroom (sexually)?

It is also helpful to increase your awareness of how you give and receive in all your interactions. When you recognize how people like to be loved it is easy to give people what they want in ways that make them feel good. It is helpful to share this information with your beloved and also with friends and family so that they can be more aware and give love to each other in ways it are mutually beneficial.

Sometimes, learning to speak a new love language is challenging. It may feel awkward or forced at first. Recognize that you are learning a new way of communicating and just like learning a foreign language it will take time and practice to get good at speaking in a new way that is foreign to you. In the bedroom you may feel uncomfortable giving love in ways you haven’t before. Look at this as an adventure and enjoy the process. Also learn to surrender and allow yourself to be loved in new and delightful ways.

This article is based on the book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, By Gary Demonte Chapman if you want to learn more, I recommend reading it.

Crystal Dawn Morris is an intimacy coach. She does couples coaching in person or over the phone. She offers tools and practices that help you improve your relationships in the areas of love, intimacy and sexuality. Crystal also offers couple retreats for reigniting passion.

Women, Orgasms and the 3-Part Communication

The best way for a woman to expand her orgasmic potential is by getting to know her own body. Self-pleasuring (commonly called “masturbation”) is a way of finding a deeper connection to your own life-force energy, which is the power of creation that flows through all of life. It can even be a spiritual practice when it is done with Presence, awe and reverence. Through self-pleasuring, a woman can learn to expand her awareness and capacity for Bliss.

Self-pleasuring allows you time to discover what excites you without being concerned about pleasing your partner. You get to experiment with different types of touch, pressure, speed and find new erogenous zones. I recommend self-pleasuring several times this week. Take your time and connect deeply with yourself. Let your inner body-wisdom guide you. As you touch yourself, stay present to where the energy flows. Allow your sessions to be an adventure in self-discovery.

Notice if any resistance comes up around self- pleasuring. If it does, ask yourself these questions: What is my relationship to pleasure? Do I make time for it in my life? How often? Do I find reasons for not giving myself pleasure? If you are in a habit of limiting the amount of pleasure in your life, explore what old beliefs you have about pleasure, sex, and masturbation. You may be harboring sexual shame or guilt. You may feel that spending time on yourself is wasteful or selfish. Now is a good time to reframe those beliefs by restating them in ways that are sex and pleasure-positive.

Once you have explored the nuances of pleasuring yourself and feel confident in your ability to bring yourself to orgasm, you may want to share this wisdom with your lover. Learning to share how you like to be loved is a great way to deepen intimacy with your partner and increases the likelihood of being touched in ways that most arouse and satisfy you. This requires an important communication skill, called the “3-Part Communication.”

The 3-Part Communication

1) Acknowledge the person for something they are doing well: “I love it when you caress me back.” or “Thank you for being willing to spend this time with me.”

2) Ask for what you want: “What would feel even better to me in this moment is for you to touch me even more slowly.”

3) Appreciate and acknowledge the change: ” Oh yes. That feels so good! You are doing it just right.” This communication style will dramatically increase the likelihood of being touched in a way that pleases you and makes your lover feel good too.

As you take personal responsibility for your desires being met, you will be want to release old beliefs that no longer serve you such as, “It’s my lover’s job to magically figure out what turns me on.” These kinds of ideas lead to feelings of being hurt and/or disappointed. Instead, recognize you are the generator of your orgasms. By learning what turns you on and asking for what feels good in the moment, you can expand your capacity for ecstasy.

Expanding your orgasm through the practice of self-pleasuring and expressing your sexual desires adds a whole new dimension to your lovemaking. It is a great way to increase self-awareness and expand your capacity for Bliss. It also adds juiciness to your sexual relationships. Enjoy!

(c)Copyright 2010 Crystal Dawn Morris Sedona, AZ

Tantra Tip of the Day- Learn About Non-Duality

Our worldview is shaped by duality. We see Self/Other, Beginning/End, Male/Female, Living/Dead and Good/Evil all around us.

The wisdom we gain through practicing Tantra, meditation, and yoga as well as mystical experiences suggest these dichotomies are illusory.

Eastern mystics have long spoken of a single underlying reality called advaita, Brahman, the Tao, or Nirvana, from which all existence arises through consciousness. Nonduality is the philosophical and spiritual understanding that dualisms obscure a deeper reality of non-separation and fundamental oneness.

There was just a Science and Nonduality Conference in California last week.
https://www.scienceandnonduality.com/

Here is a page of great links about different non-dual teachers. https://nondualcomedy.wordpress.com/links/

https://nondualcomedy.wordpress.com/links/

Tantra Tip of the Day – Let Your Heart Speak

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Your heart has its own intelligence. It naturally communicates to you through your emotional guidance system, that feeling you get, when something “just feels right.” Some people are tuned into their hearts, while others may routinely override their heart’s guidance.

This simple exercise is a great way to have direct communication to your heart’s wisdom.

Try this: Lay down in a place where you will not be disturbed for at least 30 minutes. Breathe slowly and deeply into your belly until you begin to relax. Then focus you’re attention on your heart and begin breathing into it. Notice what images, sensations and thoughts arise. Then consciously connect with your heart and invite it to speak and share its wisdom with you. Let it use your voice to speak to aloud you. Record or write down what you discover. Make sure the heart speaks in first person. Example: I, (heart,) desire more time in warm water. Not, my heart says she wants to spend more time in warm water. Allow yourself to connect deeply with your heart and listen to what it has to say. There may be pauses as you tune in and listen, continue for 5-10 minutes or until you feel complete. At the end thank your heart for sharing it wisdom.

You can learn more about how to communicate with your chakras in The Art of Everyday Ecstasy by Margot Anand.

C) Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.
www.TantraForAwakening.com
www.TantraGal.Blogspot.com

Tantra Tip of the Day – Learn to Tell the Truth

One of the most powerful things you can do to is to tell the truth. First, you have to be honest with yourself. Then you can learn how to share your truth with others. It is a common habit to say what is expected, instead of what is true. Like when someone asks, “How are you?” And without even thinking about it you may respond, “I’m fine.” When in truth, you are feeling anything but fine.

Honesty is even more complex in relationships because you are afraid of hurting or disappointing the other person. This is even truer when you are first dating and want the person to like you. Learning to speak the truth is a skill that takes awareness and practice. Years ago I read a book that helped me overcome my habit of saying what I thought others wanted to hear. Mastering these skills has helped me to be more open and authentic in my communications.

The book is called Truth in Dating by Susan M. Campbell, Ph.D, in it she shares:

The Ten Truth Skills

1) Experiencing what is
2) Being transparent
3) Noticing your intent
4) Giving and receiving feedback
5) Asserting what you want and don’t want
6) Taking back projections
7) Revising an earlier statement
8) Holding multiple perspectives
9) Sharing mixed emotions
10) Embracing silence

Today ask yourself am I being honest? Is what I am saying true? Am I withholding information out of fear or a need to control? Notice how often to tell the truth. Take some time to explore what telling the truth means to you.
Learn to Tell the Truth

C)Copyright 2009, Crystal Dawn Morris, all rights reserved.
www.TantraForAwakening.com
www.TantraGal.Blogspot.com

Feeling into Another's Deepest Heart

Someone in my Deida Connection Group asked how does one feel into another’s deepest heart. This practice is a great to feel into both your heart and someone else’s heart.

In SkyDancing Tantra we begin our practice by creating a Bubble. Seated across from one another, begin with a heart salutation- the acknowledgment of the divine in each other. Then create a bubble around yourselves to call yourselves into the present moment. Do this with your intention and by using your arms to define the bubble. Then, take things out of the bubble that don’t serve you in this moment (past, distraction, anger etc.) Next, bring things into the bubble that will enhance your connection (love, willingness, presence etc.)

Next, offer an appreciation to the other person (I honor your heart…)
After that, share your intentions/desires, fears and boundaries related to the practice while the other person listens without judgment or commentary.

Why Boundaries? When I teach this practice in my classes, people often have resistance to setting boundaries. Boundaries are not walls, they are bridges. Where two people’s healthy boundaries meet is where intimacy happens.

Your boundary, is the edge that you feel safe moving up to but not beyond. Knowing your boundary allows you to feel safe and stay present right up to your edge. Boundaries are dynamic and can change, so it is important to check in with them periodically and update your partner if the have changed. Here are a few examples: “I need to end by 3pm.” “I only want you to touch my…” “I will keep my heart open and notice if I start to contract.”

Once you are in your Bubble then you can practice Eye Gazing. Begin by gazing into the other person’s left eye. Don’t try to look into both eyes at once. It is ok to change which eye you are gazing in if you feel called too. Just relax, breathe and allow the experience to unfold. Begin with five minutes or so and extend the time as you get more comfortable with the process. This is a great way to discover how willing you are to open, to be seen, to see the Divine in another and to see where resistance arises. This is a great practice to deepen your heart connection.

End with a heart salutation. The bubble you’ve created allows you to feel the support of the sacred as you continue with your practice.

Blessings for you in 2009

May you appreciate all life.
May you connect with Source.
May you have an open heart.
May your intuition guide you.
May you have clarity of purpose.
May you cherish the sacred in all things.
May you trust yourself in every moment.
May you commit fully and never hold back.
May you be gentle with yourself and others.
May you honor your body and as a divine temple.
May you love and be loved with both passion and compassion.
May you be surrounded by friends who support your authenticity.
May you let go of past and future, living instead fully present in each moment.
May you let go of limitation and embrace your Divinity, sharing the gift you are with the world.

Blessings and lots of love,
Crystal Dawn

Merging at Midnight

I wrote this poem a year ago, for a friend, after an experience of our minds and hearts becoming one. Tantra has taught me how to relax into the moment and move into timeless realms where there is only Being. When I let go of the illusion of me being alone and separate I recognize my True Nature as Emptiness. All separation dissolves there is only Consciousness,  beyond space and time. There is no I and no other, only Being.

Communion

Midnight words
Heart to heart
Sliding into your eyes

A door opens
Wide and spacious

Melting time

Our minds caress the Divine
Waltzing with the stars
Naked and free

Communion
Hearts and minds as one
Beyond words, beyond time