I had a great time teaching in Toronto, Canada in July. On returning to Sedona I found myself needing to go inward. This process kept me off the computer and somewhat disengaged from the world. My mind kept saying, “get to work” and I knew I needed to not do and instead to be. It is a challenge to be in a doing world. I just had to let go, surrender control and trust the process.
I spent a week just letting go of doing and becoming empty. Then I was able to go deeper into myself and look at my own Tantric practice and to take time to connect more deeply with my inner teachers. I re-read Passionate Enlightenment : Women in Tantric Buddhism by Miranda Shaw, a book I first read 6 years ago. I highly recommend this book, especially to women new to Tantra. It is full of wonderful stories about the women who taught the men, who are credited with creating the Tantric Buddhist traditions. Reading it reconnected me with the deeper truth of Tantra, which is about waking up from the delusion, called life that most of us take so seriously.
One of my biggest challenges is how to “be in the world but not of it.” When I start focusing more on business, making money and being successful than on being present in the Now, I begin to believe in the world of delusion and start to loose my way. Spacious awareness is reality not the thoughts in my head or the Dow-Jones Industrial average. Surrendering control allowed me to empty out and be refilled and brought me back home to the spacious awareness that I am.
Try this: Notice when your need to control arises. What is the situation? What is the fear? What would happen if you let go? Isn’t control really an illusion created to keep fear at bay? Explore what happens when you surrender control. See what you discover.