The Alchemy of Relationship by Tom Kenyon

This article was taken from the Magdalen Manuscript (ORB Communications).

Many of us do relationships the way we play poker. We do everything possible to get the upper hand. And if that fails, we bluff. We pretend to hold cards we don’t have. We cheat. We lie.

And while this is the model for many a relationship in our post modern era, it is not the model for Sacred Relationship as described in the Manuscript.

Let me be very up front here. Sacred Relationship is not for everyone. In fact, I suspect that there are far fewer persons capable or even willing to undertake it than there are those who prefer to play emotional card games.

This type of relationship demands utmost honesty both with oneself and with one’s partner. Instead of hiding our cards, we lay them all out on the table. All our hopes, all our fears, all our petty and jealous thoughts, all our conniving: all of it gets laid out in the clear light of awareness for our partner to see. And he or she must do the same. It will not work if there are back doors unlocked with mental escape in mind. It will not work if both partners are not absolutely impeccably honest with each other. And the reason for this radical type of honesty is that without it, the Alchemy of Relationship cannot take place. Now this may be a new term to many, even students of internal alchemy, since the dynamics of intimate relationship are rarely discussed in the four major alchemical streams (Egyptian, Taoist, Yoga Tantra and Buddhist Tantra).

So I think it might be good to define what I mean here, and to lay some type of foundation. Like all types of alchemy, this type of work is about changing one form into another. The form, in this case, is the inter-dynamics that have become habituated between two people. After a while, people tend to get into ruts. The liveliness that existed at the beginning of the relationship begins to fade. Both people become more or less unconscious. The harsh reality is that it takes continual vigilance and effort to keep a relationship conscious and alive.

Many relationships drop by the wayside because the partners are either unwilling or unable to make the efforts required to sustain them. Instead of experiencing the newness of each moment within the relationship, a kind of dullness seeps in over time; what used to be exciting is now boring. And worse, a kind of psychological and emotional lethargy sets in, and both partners succumb to the dulling effects of unconsciousness.

This type of unconsciousness is a death knell to psychological awareness and insight; and although it is rarely mentioned, this type of unconsciousness has a negative effect on one’s spiritual life as well. So the form that needs to be changed within a relationship is literally the form of interactions that habitually take place between the two partners.
Like all types of alchemy, there must be a container for the reactions to occur. And in this case, it is the container of safety and appreciation that provides the reservoir for transformation. If there is a lack of safety or appreciation, this type of alchemy cannot be undertaken. And if you have decided you wish to try this type of alchemy in your relationship, I suggest you do an analysis first. Honestly assess if you feel safety and appreciation in your relationship. If you don’t, you will be wasting your time trying to undertake this type of alchemy with your current partner. I suggest you focus your efforts, instead, on the solitary practices mentioned in the Manuscript. If you still want to give it a try, get your partner to talk about these feelings of danger and lack of appreciation that you are feeling. Only if and when they get resolved, should you consider taking on this type of alchemy.

So now we have two of the three elements needed for alchemy: something to be transformed (the habitual patterns of interaction) and the container (the safety net, if you will, of the relationship itself). A third element is needed; and that is, of course, energy to drive the reaction. There is usually plenty of energy in relationships in the form of neurotic patterns, hopes, fears, and desires. We’ll get to those in a moment, but for now I want to talk about steel.

Our psychological selves are much like swords made from steel alloys. They have been forged in the hot searing foundry of our childhood, in the formative pressures of our early experiences. It is this early period of life that bonds the elements of our psyches together. And like steel, this was done under immense heat and pressure. Some of us were abused by overbearing or downright hostile or even destructive parents. Some of us were left to our own devices without any kind of support or guidance. And every kind of parental/child relationship falls in between these two polarities. The possibilities of childhood pressures are virtually endless, and so too are the psychological alloys that result from these types of experiences.

There is a lot of talk about the child within in many personal growth groups, and while there is certainly value in making contact with this younger self, it is not always pretty. Our cultural myth is that childhood is a time of innocence, a time in which everything is right with the world. For some children this is true; for many it is definitely not.

I remember being at a fellow therapist’s house for a party quite a few years ago. Most of the adults were practicing therapists, psychologists or psychiatrists. I had plopped myself in a big oversized sofa, and, sipping my Pepsi, I noticed a remarkable event. One of the therapists had brought his son and his son’s best friend to the party. It was clear that the two boys were buds. They were playing some kind of card game and respectfully giving each other a turn. There were no attempts at cheating, and they seemed to be in a bubble of camaraderie.

Then the boy’s father came into the room and asked both kids if they needed anything. They both looked up with cherub faces and smiled. No they said, in the cutest little boy voices. The father patted his son on the back, and as he walked off, he nonchalantly patted his son’s friend on the back as well. For a moment, his son looked at the incident in abject horror. You could see that he could not believe his eyes. And then as his father turned the corner into the other room, his son pulled back and hit his best friend in the face! This was not childhood innocence. This was childhood rage. He was not willing to share affections from his father, not even with his best friend. This type of jealousy is typical of higher mammals, and we are, for all our self-righteous self-congratulatory delusions, still mammals. No matter how high we get spiritually, we will, for as long as we live, share traits with our mammalian brothers and sisters.

The inner life of a child is often far different than those around him or her imagine it to be. Surrounded by both dangers and opportunities, the psychological life of a child is directly shaped by how he or she chooses to deal with them. Whether it is something as life threatening as a deranged parent or a child molester, or seemingly innocuous as whom to go to the prom with, does not in some ways matter. While the impact of fighting for one’s life may very well imprint a child’s behavior well into adulthood, the little decisions of life, like who to socialize with or not, also have impact. All these major and minor decisions create internal psychological heat and pressure. The alloys of one’s personality get bonded together or burned away. The sword has been tempered by the time we reach adulthood, and the alloy of our personalities has been set. Some of us emerge from this childhood foundry with rock hard edges; others of us are blunt. Some of us hold our edges, and some of us can never seem to hold anything.

The thing about steel is that it tends to remain in its original form once it leaves the foundry. And one of the few things that can ever re-configure the alloy is if the steel gets as hot as it did when it was first formed. In the alchemical work of Sacred Relationship, we voluntarily put ourselves back in the foundry. The heat that arises between two people when their neuroses rub against each other can get quite intense. If both people can find the courage to be radically honest with themselves and with each other in these searing moments, the psychological alloys can be altered. A new type of aliveness then enters the relationship fueled by the energy of psychological truth.

The thing is–most of us will do almost anything to avoid psychological heat. When we get uncomfortable, many of us get the hell out of Dodge. Now for some of us this means literally packing up and getting out of town, or at least out of sight. For some of us it means that we are physically present, but no longer emotionally present. We numb up. We become automatons. We move and talk, almost like normal, but we have retreated far, far inside. Others of us numb ourselves with alcohol or drugs. And some of us do it with television. We humans are, after all, quite clever and creative. We can find all sorts of ways to avoid facing ourselves. In fact, they are far too numerous for me to list here. But I suspect you get the idea. I guess the real question here is this–what do you do when things get psychologically too hot for your taste? What do you do when you are on the verge of feeling something that you don’t want to feel?
For those in Sacred Relationship such feelings are a call to presence. It is a time to be radically honest, and for both partners to express their true feelings no matter how embarrassing or scary they might be. By speaking their truths to each other, an enlivening element enters the dynamic. Psychological honesty results in psychological insight. And with insight there is hope for awareness, and with awareness there can be change. This chapter is hardly a manual for the Alchemy of Relationship. It’s mainly, I think, a warning. Magdalen alluded to this in the Manuscript. She called it obscurations to flight. That sounds wonderfully exotic doesn’t it? Well, it isn’t very exotic when the obscuration is clearly in your face. And it isn’t very exotic feeling when the foundry of the relationship gets so hot that you feel you are dissolving (psychologically that is). It takes courage and fortitude to stay in the foundry when the heat begins to weaken the stability of one’s self-perceived image. Few of us care to look foolish, scared, petty or jealous. And we will often go through elaborate means to hide these feelings from ourselves or others.

But in Sacred Relationship these things invariably float to the surface like mud that has been stirred up from the bottom of a barrel. The thing is to realize that this does not mean you are doing it (Sacred Relationship) wrong; it means that you are probably doing it right. As Magdalen said in the Manuscript, the power of the alchemy extrudes, or pushes out, the dross. This can be fascinating when the dross is being pushed out of your partner, but it is truly horrific when it extrudes out of you.

What makes Sacred Relationship sacred is that it is truly a holy way of being. The root of the word holy actually means to make whole. So… when we do something that creates wholeness (in this case psychological wholeness), we are engaged in a sacred or holy act.

In the crucible of mutual safety, honesty and appreciation, it is possible to forge a new kind of self. This new self is psychologically more honest, more aware and freer than its counterpart before entering the foundry of relationship. And like the phoenix that arises from its own ashes, this self has wings. It can fly places that it could only imagine before.

There are mysteries here, and treasures that await those who have the courage to enter the depths of themselves and their partners. It is not, as I said, for everyone. You will probably know if you are a likely candidate because you will feel it in your soul, your heart.

If you enter this path, know that there are no manuals. There is precious little guidance out there. The path to spirituality has traditionally been one of solitude. And while times of solitude may be necessary for those in Sacred Relationship, something has turned. They agree to walk the path to godhood together, side by side, through both heaven and hell, through the brilliant summits where all things are suddenly crystal clear, and through the dark valley of psychological death where it is hard to even see one’s foot in front of the other. And yet through the darkness of not knowing, a deep primordial force begins to rise up. It requires an unusual type of holy trinity – three things for it to do its most holy task- mutual safety, psychological honesty and appreciation of the Beloved.
Have a good journey!

© 2012 Tom Kenyon. All rights reserved.
You may make copies of this message and distribute it in any media as long as you change nothing, do not charge for it, credit the author, and include this complete copyright notice and web address.

Having the Safe Sex Talk

Sex is a healthy part of life and a powerful way to share love and intimacy. It is important to learn how to be clear and honest about your sexual history before engaging in sex. Unprotected sex can lead to infection, pregnancy, infertility, and life-threatening diseases.

1. Know your own sexual history. Get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STI’s) regularly.
2. Practice sharing your sexual history with a friend so you are comfortable talking about it.
3. Get educated about STI’s- know their prevalence, risks, and treatments.
4. Commit to discussing safer sex before engaging in any exchange of body fluids.
5. Have the discussion in a neutral atmosphere, not as you are about to climb in bed together.
6. Be prepared, carry condoms with you and know how to use them. Practice before hand.
7. Know your bottom line. What risks are you NOT willing to take? Be ready to say NO!
8. Pregnancy is also a risk of unprotected intercourse. Use birth control if you don’t want a baby.
9. If you have taken risks in the past, don’t be afraid to get tested and treated.
10. Love yourself enough to set healthy boundaries and honor them.

How to Begin

When you meet someone and feel that sexual chemistry is there be aware that you need to have the safer sex talk before you find yourself in a sexually charged situation. When the time feels right begin by acknowledging the attraction you feel. “Ever since we met I have been aware that I am very attracted to you sexually.” Find out if the feeling is mutual. There is no need to share your history with someone who has no desire to be sexual with you. If they are also interested in becoming sexually involved then tell them you would like to set aside a time to have a discussion about safer sex and to share your sexual histories with each other.

Getting Tested

Depending on how sexually active you have been, the last time you were tested and any risky behaviors you may have had since then, you may choose to go and get an STI exam and HIV test before you have the safer sex talk. This way you will have current information to share either before or shortly after your discussion. The testing can be done with your doctor’s office, at a public health center, or family planning clinic. STI’s tests may include: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea (the Clap), Syphilis, Candida (yeast infection), Hepatitis B, Herpes simplex 1 and 2, HIV, HPV (genital warts and cervical dysplasia), Crabs, and Trichomonis (trich). While you are there ask any questions you have and pick up information about birth control, STI’s and HIV.

Having the Talk

Meet in a private place when you won’t be disturbed. Make sure you have a couple of hours set aside so that you don’t have to stop in the middle. Turn off your cell phones. Bring your test results with you if you have them. One powerful way to begin is by each sharing your intention for this communication, any fears or concerns you have about this talk and any boundaries you need to express. A boundary is what you need to feel safe and stay open, it is not a wall, it is a bridge to help you stay present. A healthy boundary for this communication might be to agree that whatever is shared will remain confidential. Another type of boundary is, “I need to end by 10 pm.”

Then agree who will go first. Only one person should speak at a time. The other person listens quietly and only interrupts if they need to clarify a specific detail. When the first person is complete then switch roles. Topics to cover may include:

• History of STI’s. Were they successfully treated? Last date tested.
• HIV risks- IV drug use, unprotected anal sex, homosexual encounters, and unprotected sex with prostitutes. The results of your last HIV test results. Any risks since then?
• History of risky behavior- unprotected sex or partners who had unprotected sex. IV drug use or partners who used IV drugs. Use of drugs and alcohol during or before sexual activity.
• The number of sexual partners you have had. The risk of STI’s and HIV increases if you have unprotected sex with multiple partners.
• History of rape, blood transfusions or other risks.
• Agreeing to keep each other’s sexual history and test results confidential.

Sexual expression is important part of a healthy life-style and is wonderful way to share love and intimacy. This talk is the beginning of your relating on an intimate level with this person. Honesty is a great way to build respect and trust. Know that you are responsible for the choices you make. Only you can protect yourself. Don’t rely on someone else to protect you. Sex involves risk, as does all of life.  By practicing safer sex you are limiting the risks you are taking. You are making conscious choices and accepting the possible risks involved. The only 100% guarantee for avoiding the risk of STI’s and pregnancy is abstaining from sexual contact. I hope that this article supports you in having a healthy and enjoyable sex-life.

Copyright 2012 Crystal Dawn Morris

If you’d like to learn more about Conscious Sexuality and Tantra or want to attend Crystal’s events, please sign-up for her free monthly newsletter at: http://www.TantraforAwakening.com

Crystal Dawn Morris is a Certified Sky Dancing Tantra Teacher and the founder of Tantra for Awakening. She is committed to creating a more conscious and compassionate world. She offers Tantra workshops, Intimacy Coaching and Couples Retreats. She teaches a Tantra Teacher Certification program called The Art and Business of Teaching Tantra. She lives in Sedona, AZ where she practices yoga, writes and enjoys life. She loves to travel and is open to teaching and coaching in your community.

A Gathering to Envision and Plant the Seeds
for Embodying the Shift and Birthing the New World

Together, we will plant the seeds of this new world and acti­vate our vision­ary power to conceive it into being.

Friday May 25th at 7pm thru Monday, May 28th at 3pm

Isis Cove in Whittier, NC
In the Magical Blue Smoky Mountains of Western North Carolina

This Year’s Theme:
Weaving Diversity Into Unity Consciousness

Join Crystal Dawn Morris, Judith Corvin-Blackburn, Linda Star Wolf and other Wise Wolf Women for four days of amaz­ing vision­ary ritu­als and jour­neys to heal ourselves and the world as we weave diver­sity into unity consciousness.

A soul-filled week­end of: Community, music, danc­ing, cere­mony and celebration!

Sharing our cultures, Her-stories and wisdom teachings; Consciously vision­ing a vibrant tapes­try for our new Earth where all are honored and harmony is restored, where all actions and deci­sions flow from love, know­ing we are One.

Sponsored by Venus Rising Institute for Shamanic Arts and facilitated by teachers and healers from around the country.

Registration is required for this event. Please download this form, fill it out and return to Venus Rising, along with your land-use fee.

Applications for Vendors are now being accepted.

May 19-20, 2012
Awakening the Ecstatic Body: Opening the Path to Bliss
Saturday 9:30am-9:30pm and Sunday 10am-6pm
Sedona, AZ

Sedona School of Temple Arts 2945 Southwest Dr, Sedona, AZ

• Open you Inner Flute
• Explore and attune your chakras
• Expand your ability to tap into bliss
• Learn to communicate your desires effectively

By the end of the weekend you will feel an expanded flow of energy, awareness, and ecstasy throughout your being. You will leave this weekend with tools to create a more joyful, pleasure-filled, awakened life. This weekend is open to individuals and couples. There is no nudity in this class.

Investment: $275/ couples $500. Register by emailing Crystal@Tantraforawakening.com

This workshop is facilitated by Crystal Dawn Morris, a Certified SkyDancing Tantra Teacher, assisted by Jim Miller. Crystal is known for her ability to create a safe space where magic unfolds. Her workshops and coaching sessions give people practical tools for ecstatic living.

Please call or email with questions or concerns.

For additional information call Crystal at 928-282-5483/ cell 928-862-0762

Email Crystal@TantraforAwakening.com

Chakra Talk

This practice allows you to access the wisdom held in your chakra energy centers. You will lend your voice to the chakra center you want to communicate with it in a direct way. The more you are able to relax and surrender the easier it is to access the wisdom of your chakras speaking  in their unique voice.

Set aside 30-60 minutes for this practice. Make sure the phone is off and that you won’t be disturbed. This can be done alone or with a partner. If done alone have your journal nearby so you can take notes. You may also choose to record the experience. If done with a partner, only one person speaks and the other acts as a witness. They may take notes if that feels appropriate to both parties. The witness should not interrupt the speaker while the chakra is talking.

Begin with a Heart Salutation. Sit across from your partner and look into their eyes. Maintaining eye contact throughout the rest of the process, begin by extending your arms towards the earth, palms together. Then, inhale and keeping your hands in prayer position, bring them to your heart. Exhale, as you bow forward and acknowledge the Divine in each other with the Sanskrit salutation “Namaste.” Namaste means “I honor the Divine in you as a reflection of the Divine in me.” Inhale, as you straighten back up. Finally, exhale as you allow your hands to return to the starting position, pointed towards the earth.

Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Now,  direct your attention to the chakra you are going to listen to. Take slow, gentle, relaxing breaths into your belly. Relax deeply for about several minutes. As your exhale, breathe out any tension you are holding. As you inhale, breathe in life force energy (pnana/chi/ki) and feel your body being energized.

When you are relaxed, focus your attention on the chakra you feel called to connect with. Place your hands over the area related to that particular chakra. Breathe into it and begin to tune into the energy of this chakra. Invite it to speak through you, say (the name of the chakra,) Example- “Heart, I desire to receive your wisdom and invite you to speak to me through my voice.”

Then allow the chakra to speak to you, in the first person, “I, Heart, want to share that I have been feeling ignored lately. Crystal has been… I would like…. It would be helpful if…” Continue to tune in for 5-10 minutes or longer. There may be pauses as the information is accessed. Stay present with the process until it feels complete.

End with a Heart Salutation.

Adapted from The Art of Everyday Ecstasy by Margot Anand

Copyright 2010 Crystal Dawn Morris   www.TantraForAwakening.org

Sacred Sexual Shamanic Practitioners Training

Sedona – 07 May 2012 – 13 May 2012

This training is for people who are committed to the ongoing practice of evolving consciousness and embodying bliss, and who desire to support others on this path. Central to this are presence, personal empowerment, emotional intelligence, sexual wholeness, and a lifestyle which honors the interconnectedness of all things. Acknowledging and embracing one’s shadow (or un-integrated psychological material) is the cornerstone of this work. Some people take this training for their own personal enrichment while others are interested in the profession of Sacred Sexual Practitioner or Educator.

Core Curriculum Includes:

Intention and Invocation

Ethics-Appropriate Instruction and Sharing

Boundary Identification and Healing

Insights for Working with Men, Women and Couples

Clearing Emotional Blocks for Self and Clients

Anchoring, Grounding and Sustaining Healing Change

Issues Related to Religion, Social Dogma and Sexuality

Business,, Marketing and Community Building Skills

Legal Considerations

Order tickets here.

I am very excited about this year’s conference. The Sedona Spring Conference is a gathering place for like-minded individuals.  Join experts in their fields as they share their knowledge, learn new tools and synthesize the energies of sacred mind, sacred body, sacred spirit, sacred heart and sacred emotion.  Synthesis goes beyond polarity and creates new opportunities to love and be free.  Meet your next mate, seed your next project.  You do not want to miss this special gathering bringing 11 years of sexuality consciousness to a new level.

I will be one of the MCs of the event. I will also be offering two presentations:

Introduction to Shamanic Breathwork

Shamanic Breathwork™ is a powerful musical journey through the chakras that reconnects participants with their “Inner Shaman.” In the process, old wounds and dysfunctional patterns are released and transformed; individuals may reclaim lost soul parts and remember their true nature. Shamanic Breathwork™  is an experiential process guided by the wisdom of each individual’s Inner Shaman.  We will begin the session with a brief overview of the Shamanic Breathwork™ process. Participants will then lie down and focus on their intention and begin deep circular breathing, “until they are surprised.” Drumming begins the journey and leads into a powerful musical journey process which will last about 40 minutes.

Each person’s journey is a highly individualized and unique process. People report shifts in consciousness ranging from bliss states to releasing negativity from their psyche. An experience of being reborn is a common occurrence, as is a life review. Old patterns of dysfunction may be brought to the surface and healed. Feelings such as grief, fear, rage and anxiety are often released. New insights and solutions to life challenges may also be revealed.

A sacred and loving space will be held for the group and at times support may be offered in the form of bodywork, Reiki, Soul Return and various forms of Shamanic healing techniques. After the journey the participants will have an opportunity to express and process their experiences in dyads and /or a large group.

The Nine Dimensions of Love

2012 is a year of expanding awareness.  We are learning how to live as love. Human consciousness is being opened to 9 dimensions of awareness. In this session you will explore these nine dimensions and how love expresses itself through each one.  You will learn specific ways to become aware of your multidimensionality.

Come listen to the Keynote Addresses on Friday and Saturday by two pioneers in the fields of sexuality and Tantra,  Annie Sprinkle and Charles Muir

Debut Event!!! ISTA International Festival of Sexuality and Consciousness Films

Join us for the first ever Sexuality & Consciousness Film Festival May 3, 2012 kicking off in Sedona, home of the Sedona International Film Festival.

Kenneth Ray Stubbs will present a historic historic path from Erotic Massage to multi-dimensional Shamanism 1975-2012.  You do not want to miss this!

And, view the list of pre and post conference events by your favorite teachers.  Keep checking back as this list grows each week.

ISTA is a non-profit school serving as a resource and network for those who share a vision of love and harmony here on earth.  In addition to fascilitating educational conferences, trainings and workshops in over 50 countries, ISTA works with charitable organizations to globalize sexuality consciousness through collaborations and co-sponsored programs

May 19-20,  Sedona, AZ

June  2-3, Asheville, NC

Awakening the Ecstatic Body: Opening the Path to Bliss

• Open Your inner Flute
• Explore and Attune Your Chakras
• Expand Your Ability to Tap into Bliss
• Learn to Communicate Your Desires Effectively
• Experience a Heart-Opening Tantric Puja

By the end of the weekend you will feel an expanded flow of energy, awareness, and ecstasy throughout your being. You will leave this weekend with tools to create a more joyful, pleasure-filled, awakened life. This weekend is open to individuals and couples. There is no nudity in this class.

Sept. 15-16,  Sedona,  AZ

Oct.6-7, near Toronto, Canada

Awakening the Ecstatic Body: The Full Body Orgasm and Beyond

• Learn the 3 Steps of the Ecstatic Response
• Open the Bliss Channel and Experience Orgasmic Energy
• Explore the Multi-Orgasmic Response in Men and Women
• Move Beyond Time in the Heart Wave Meditation
• Experience a Juicy Tantric Ritual

In this experiential weekend workshop you will learn how to awaken bliss in every cell of your being and you will experience a full body orgasm outside a sexual context. You will leave this weekend feeling more alive and with a tool kit for creating bliss in your life and relationships. This event is open to individuals and couples. There is no nudity in this class.

Nov. 10-11,  Sedona,  AZ

Awakening the Ecstatic Body Weekend: From Sexual Union to Spiritual Communion

• Explore Masculine and Feminine Energy
• Define Love, Romance and Sexual Polarity
• Discover Non-Duality as a Path of Awakening
• Practice self-inquiry and Open the Deeper Truth
• Experience Merging with the Divine in a Tantric Ritual

In this experiential weekend workshop you will learn how to gracefully navigate the dance of polarities,  keep your heart open, share your truth, heal the shadow, live more in the Now and melt into ecstasy. Discover how your relationships can become a doorway into communion with the Divine. You will leave this weekend feeling more connected, present and aware with a tool kit for creating bliss in your life and relationships. This event is open to individuals and couples. There is no nudity in this class.

To Register Email Crystal@TantraforAwakening.com or

Call 928-282-5483 or cell 928-862-0762

Check for up coming dates and locations, www.tantraforawakening.org/schedule/

These workshops are facilitated by Crystal Dawn Morris, a Certified SkyDancing Tantra Teacher. Crystal is known for her ability to create a safe space where magic unfolds. Her workshops and coaching sessions give people practical tools for ecstatic living.

“Yoni,” is a Sanskrit word that means cosmic matrix. It is the word we use in Tantra to refer to a woman’s vagina. It is possible to tap into the wisdom held in this sacred part of the body. This practice allows you to access the wisdom held in your Yoni. You are lending your voice to your Yoni so it can communicate with you directly. The more you are able to relax and surrender to this process the easier it is to access the wisdom of your Yoni and experience its unique voice.

Set aside 30-60 minutes for this practice. Make sure the phone is turned off and let other people in your home know not to disturb you for the next hour. This practice can be done alone or with a partner. If done alone have your journal nearby so you can take notes afterwards. You may also choose to record the experience. If done with a partner, only one person speaks and the other acts as a witness. The witness may take notes if that feels appropriate to both parties. The witness should not interrupt the speaker while they are allowing their Yoni to speak.

The Heart Salutation

Begin this practice with a Heart Salutation. This is done by extending your arms towards the earth with your palms together. Then, inhale and keeping your hands in prayer position, bring them to your heart. Exhale, as you bow forward and acknowledge the Divine within yourself and each other. Inhale, as you straighten back up. Finally, exhale as you allow your hands to return to the starting position, pointed towards the earth.

The Bubble

Now, create a bubble around you (and your partner). Do this by waving your arms around both of you as you define the shape of the bubble that surrounds you. You will then be removing things from this bubble that won’t serve you during this practice (the past, distractions, anger, worry, etc.) Do this by making a  gesture as if removing an object from your bubble and verbally share what you are removing from the bubble out loud. Then, Next, state what things you want to bring into the bubble, these are things that will enhance your connection (love, willingness, presence, trust etc.) Make a gesture as if physically bringing them into the bubble. Creating the bubble helps to call you into present moment awareness and creates a safe space in which to practice Yoni Talk.

Share Your Desires, Fears and Boundaries

Once the bubble is created, share your intentions/desires, fears and boundaries related to this practice. First, one person speaks while the other person listens without judgment or commentary. Then you switch roles. Here is an example:

“I desire to stay present, open and connect deeply my Yoni.”

“My fear is that I will get self-conscious and freeze up.”

“My boundary is to stay connected, to feel what is arising and share even if I start to cry.”

Why boundaries? When I teach this practice in my classes, people often have resistance to setting boundaries. I explain that boundaries are not walls, they are bridges. Bridges helps to bring people together. Intimacy happens when people have healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries allow you to feel safe, stay open and be present. Boundaries are dynamic, so it is important to check-in periodically with yourself to see if your boundaries have changed. If they have changed, update your partner so they can honor your new boundaries. Here are a few examples:

“I need to end this practice by noon.”

“I don’t want to be touched during this process.”

“I want to stay present and open to your support. I would like you to remind me to open my eyes if I seem to be disconnecting from you.”

Yoni Talk

Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Take slow, gentle, relaxing breaths into your belly. Relax deeply for about several minutes. As your exhale, breathe out any tension you are holding. As you inhale, breathe in life force energy (pnana/chi/ki) and feel your body becoming energized.

Once you are relaxed, focus your attention on your Yoni and place your hands over Yoni. Breathe into Yoni and begin to tune into this part of your body.  Ask her what she would like to be called ( Sacred Flower, Cosmic Cave or..) Invite her to speak.  Say out loud, something like “Sacred Flower, (use the name she has shared with you,) I desire to receive your wisdom and invite you to speak to me and give you my voice.”

Then allow Yoni to speak to you, in the first person, “I,  Sacred Flower,  want to share that I have been feeling ignored lately.  I notice you … I would like…. It would be helpful if…” Continue to tune in for 15 minutes or longer. There may be phases as the information is accessed. Stay present with the process until it feels complete. End with a Heart Salutation.

If you are alone, take time to journal.

If you are with a friend, share your experience verbally. Take a short break and then switch roles.

Notice how this experience impacts your life over the next few days and weeks.

By Crystal Dawn Morris, February,  2012. Adapted from The Art of Sexual Ecstasy by Margot Anand.

06 Apr 2012 – 07 Apr 2, 2012

ISTA’s Spiritual Sexual Shamanic Training for Practitioners

East Bali – 09 Apr 2012 – 15 Apr, 2012

Learn more

Spiritual…Sexual….Shamanic …each of these three areas
alone carry enormous charge and potential for liberation
as well as shadow and misuse of power. Together, integrated
we begin to see what it means to be awake, empowered and
in service as love in the world.

Margot Anand, Deborah Taj Anapol, Baba Dez Nichols, Crystal Dawn Morris and Robert Silber.